It is important to not let one's desires and hopes drift into the realm of becoming expectations!
A lot of human misery come from confusing wishes, desires, hopes and expectations.
Anyone can develop a desire or a wish - no qualifications needed.
Hope: This requires some effort on our part.
It is after working and putting in some effort towards earning what is wished for or desired, that the odds of achieving it are increased. It is only then, that one is entitled to hope for it. The intensity of hope should ideally be proportional to the probability or odds of the wish coming true with the effort. All things within our control are only upto the point when have put in our sincere effort - to increase the likelihood of something desired happening. The rest is either beyond our competence or our control or both. There may be many factors we are not even aware of. Note that when the odds are 99% in favour, one can be more hopeful than when the odds are, say, 20%.
Yet, something that we estimated the odds at 20% might actually happen, while something that the odds were at 99% of happening may NOT happen. Such is reality and life. It is important to remember this and accept whatever the outcome. If we keep in mind there is a possibility of our desire or hope not being fruitful, no matter how high the odds and we can accept an undesired outcome as part of reality. This is crucial. We cannot grieve or make too much of not getting what we want. Examples of this can be running a race, buying a lottery ticket or raising a child with a certain goals in mind.
This also leads us to the next level - 'Expectation'. When we 'expect' something to happen, it is like the odds were 100% - that we are entitled to get what we desired. We have done everything to earn it completely and we are somehow disappointed or hurt that it did not happen. We might feel grieved justifiably. An example of such would be that we worked honestly for the day and expect to be paid by our employer. We paid the price for a meal and expect to receive it. Under 'normal' circumstances, there are some reasonable or valid expectations, but if one looked at the complexity of the world, even those only become reasonable hopes! One cannot expect to get paid promptly if there is an earthquake or flood or some other calamity that upsets the whole system.
That is why it is said as cultural wisdom that we have only the right to action leading upto something, not an automatic right to the desired outcome. In native Sanskrit there is a saying - "Karmanyeva-Adhikaaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadaachana" In simpler terms it means - Go ahead, desire, wish, work for it and hope, but have no expectations of the exact final outcome! This is the key to avoid a lot of disappointment and misery in life.
Copyright (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2017
All rights reserved
A lot of human misery come from confusing wishes, desires, hopes and expectations.
Anyone can develop a desire or a wish - no qualifications needed.
Hope: This requires some effort on our part.
It is after working and putting in some effort towards earning what is wished for or desired, that the odds of achieving it are increased. It is only then, that one is entitled to hope for it. The intensity of hope should ideally be proportional to the probability or odds of the wish coming true with the effort. All things within our control are only upto the point when have put in our sincere effort - to increase the likelihood of something desired happening. The rest is either beyond our competence or our control or both. There may be many factors we are not even aware of. Note that when the odds are 99% in favour, one can be more hopeful than when the odds are, say, 20%.
Yet, something that we estimated the odds at 20% might actually happen, while something that the odds were at 99% of happening may NOT happen. Such is reality and life. It is important to remember this and accept whatever the outcome. If we keep in mind there is a possibility of our desire or hope not being fruitful, no matter how high the odds and we can accept an undesired outcome as part of reality. This is crucial. We cannot grieve or make too much of not getting what we want. Examples of this can be running a race, buying a lottery ticket or raising a child with a certain goals in mind.
This also leads us to the next level - 'Expectation'. When we 'expect' something to happen, it is like the odds were 100% - that we are entitled to get what we desired. We have done everything to earn it completely and we are somehow disappointed or hurt that it did not happen. We might feel grieved justifiably. An example of such would be that we worked honestly for the day and expect to be paid by our employer. We paid the price for a meal and expect to receive it. Under 'normal' circumstances, there are some reasonable or valid expectations, but if one looked at the complexity of the world, even those only become reasonable hopes! One cannot expect to get paid promptly if there is an earthquake or flood or some other calamity that upsets the whole system.
That is why it is said as cultural wisdom that we have only the right to action leading upto something, not an automatic right to the desired outcome. In native Sanskrit there is a saying - "Karmanyeva-Adhikaaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadaachana" In simpler terms it means - Go ahead, desire, wish, work for it and hope, but have no expectations of the exact final outcome! This is the key to avoid a lot of disappointment and misery in life.
Copyright (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2017
All rights reserved
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