What will defeat Socialism and what will destroy Capitalism

When I was a young teenager, growing up in India, I once visited an international exhibition. It had pavillions from countries all over the world. There were even representatives from those countries staffing their them. Some had translators, many did not. It was very popular in those days. We went with our families. In those days, when the Soviet Union was considered strong and was a friend of India, it naturally had a good sized pavillion showcasing its many republics. The pavillions of the USA, UK, and many countries in Europe were also very popular. It was like a mini-whirlwind tour of the world. We could see a tiny slice of many countries and continents.

For us children, it was an opportunity to see foreigners up close as much as products from their countries, watch popular music or dance performances from distant lands and generally feel that we too were at the centre and hub of world culture.

We had Black-and-White televisions in some parts of India then. Colour TV was only heard of and talked about by people who returned from visits to exotic places overseas. I was a technology follower and badly wanted to see real colour TVs 'in action' - there was no real broadcast and they were playing recorded tapes. It was all analog TV, not digital. It was those days when cassette tape players were just coming into the world consumer market.

I had a friend of mine, who came along with my family on this outing. He and I were close friends. We shared many common interests - world news, politics and new technology were among them. He had learned to speak and write Japanese, so we definitely wanted to visit the Japanese pavillion. He could speak and surprise any Japanese we encountered. 

Certain countries' pavillions were very popular and word got around certain interesting things to see or hear in other countries. The usual popular list of course included the USA, UK, Germanies (there were two then), Japan, China and of course the good friend of India - the Soviet Union. Pakistan's pavillion was quite popular too, with people still pointing out, some with surprise how similar they were to us!

From the media and newspapers, we knew some of the countries were with us, some were not with us and some against us. Note that we had a different outlook from G.W. Bush. The USSR, Cuba, Africa were supposed to be friends and the USA, UK and Europe were not with us, some even with our enemies - Pakistan and China the foremost among them. So, naturally, we were all curious and most eager to see the pavillions and people of these countries, in addition to some random points of interest that we heard about.

The following were the 'must see' list.  We had heard about them from friends who had visited the exhibition before us and there was some coverage in the newspapers.

There was a video of the moonlanding in the USA pavillion. Colour TV was playing in the Japanese pavillion. The African pavillions had some things on wildlife, the West Indians were performing some cool music, there was Jazz from the USA, the Russian dancers and gymnasts were absolutely riveting. There were white-skinned people (we could never tell the diffference between a German or English or Italian or USAnian!)  We could never tell the Americans from the Russians by looking at a person then. In someways it was mystifying that we could not tell our friends from our foes!! We developed an admiration for the Indian political leaders and government officials who seemed to possess the skills to understand these strange people and tell them apart - who were friends and who were not!

We could not even tell the difference between many from Arab and Middle Eastern countries from the Europeans. We were so surprised at the variety of non-black hair on their heads that we just stared and stared, hardly believing they were real. They were to us, unearthly - Blond, Brown, Golden, Platinum and Red!  Secretly, we wanted to touch them and pull or stroke their hair. We would fondly hope that they ran into us or accidentally bumped into us so that we would touch their skin. It was a strange fascination with totally foreign things and people.

There were Chinese and Japanese who we could not tell apart. There were many Africans too. It was fascinating to see their dark, beautiful shiny black skin. There were some Indians from the south who are a bit like that, but the Africans really stood out. We thought they were really cool. We loved their accents and friendliness. Their hair too was eye-catching. 

 In my own family there are people with dark and fair skin, such contrasts as one could never believe we were related. My parents and us kids had an interesting conversation trying to see which of us in the family matched closely to foreigners from which country! I was definitely in the African category. My fairer skinned sibling could pass for an olive skinned European! I loved the eyes of the Chinese and Japanese, their smooth skin and jet black hair. Many of the Europeans looked less glamourous than we expected from pictures in magazines. They had freckles and it seemed like brown spotted pink skin! It was not as smooth and even coloured as we imagined from their moview.  Of course, some did seem to have a stunning, smooth pinkish skin that was our imagined ideal of white skin. The variety of eyes and their colours too fascinated us. Some reminded us of cats!

We were fascinated hearing the foreigners talk. We, mostly, could never understand a word, even if they spoke English. Occasionally, we could identify one word that sounded familiar and be thrilled. There were massive crowds, even by Indian standards and one had to keep moving in queues or rough lines. Some of the most memorable sights we saw were the sight of some Africans eating Indian food at a stall and how they seemed to be enjoying it even as they ate it 'clumsily' with their hands. There was the image of Europeans at another food stall and how red or pink some seemed to turn under the sun. Some were carrying strange looking bottles or cans and eating things we could never figure out what they were! We thought all Europeans ate bread and cake other than meat. We would all stare and point to make sure our sibling or friend did not miss out such interesting things that we spotted, so that we could talk about it later.

There was not much time to linger over anything for too long, even if we liked it very much. Sometimes the foreigners would smile at us and say something and we could not understand. Some of us would pretend that they did and felt superior!

We had just seen the colour TV showing Japanese origami using coloured paper. I kept staring at the pixel to see how the colours came to be. The television set was not properly set up with the right contrast and brightness, one could make out the colour from a distance, but it seemed to vanish when we came close, right up to the screen. I was mystified. I had been reading about John Logie Baird and his invention of television and fancied myself as a bit of the engineer or scientist in the family, among my siblings! I tried to say something intelligent, but it was only the childish ignorance of my younger siblings that let me get away with it!

As I caught the various 'must see's' on our list and ticked them off and went on to the next, I looked forward to seeing the USSR pavillion. We saw posters of their industry, rockets, fields and tractors. I had heard that photography was very popular in the USSR and that they had such a large number of photographers per capita because they made it cheaper. In the comparison of 'standard of life' between the capitalist west and communist USSR, in fliers and books and news reports, there were lists that we were familiar with. That all in the USSR got milk delivered to their door, free every morning, they all had houses to live in and that more of them could indulge in the luxury (in those days it WAS a luxury) to have camera, even if it was Black-and-White. Colour photography was so out of reach for most, even in the West, that it was surprising that the USSR was so advanced. Of course, the colour pictures from the USSR looked a bit different from those from the USA with a different mix of the primary colours in printing. It was a difference in the chemicals and system, we read or were told by people who had been there.

As we walked up to the USSR pavillion, we saw some cameras in a showcase with a glass frontage that looked out into the side of the pavillion, near the entrance. I noticed that the tops of the cameras, all black in colour, seemed to have a top surface that was strangely brownish. The showcase was not lit up and so we could not tell anything clearly in the natural light. It was uniform across all the cameras kept on the top surfaces, even the top half of the curved lens tubes that protruded out. My good friend and I, were curious.

"What is the brown stuff?" my friend asked. 

'"Looks like it is dirty," my little younger brother said.

"Oh! Silly! It cannot be!! It is not dirt. It must be something special, a special feature. I will ask inside!" I and my friend, we laughed at my 'silly' little brother. We older ones knew better. The Soviet Union was a superpower, comparable to the USA and Europe. They were mighty, they could match the West for everything and surely they would not keep dusty, dirty cameras in showcases, bringing them all the way from their distant country!! We had seen how spotless,shiny and brightly lit the pavillions of Japan, Germany and other Western countries had been.

We went inside and saw one Russian or citizen of the Soviet Union, someone in a far corner, with an exhibit. We asked the Indian exhibition attendant nearby about photography and they showed us a poster and pictures with some statistics. I said I had a question about the cameras that we could see from outside the pavillion. We were not allowed to go near them. We moved along. When we reached the 'Russian' looking person at the other end, he spoke reasonable English. I was persistent and determined to solve the mystery and find out about the brownish tops of the cameras. I raised my hand and asked the question,"There is something I want to know about the cameras that you have on display. It is an important question."

I really wanted to know the cool technical secret or reason why they had the tops of a different shade of colour. 

The Soviet man stood up and walked with me to the showcase. He turned to me and I pointed to a camera. As he picked it up, we could all see the layer of dust on top of it getting shifted in the wind and blowing away a bit.

I and my friend quickly exchanged looks, hiding our disappointment We walked out quickly, thankful that my little brother did not observe or gloat. He was too young for that.

That incident and memory came to mind, when many, many years down the road, I heard of the break up of the Soviet Union. I came to realise what can defeat Socialism - the laziness, uncaring, non-ownership and pride in presenting even little things - either with the sense of personal pride for profit or with pride for one's society or country. There seems to be something in the nature of some humans, which when kept in completely socialist environment, does not care to wipe the dust off a bunch of cameras for display at a world exhibition in a different country, thousands of miles away when being seen in comparison to others who are keen to present their country, their culture and their system in the best light possible. It is such apathy, laziness and corruption of the soul that can defeat Socialism. That layer of dust on the cameras was a good indicator for those that could see it for what it really was - the defeat of a faulty, badly implemented Socialist system.

We see today the indicators of what can defeat capitalism - unrestricted personal greed, selfishness, unrepayable debt, lies that everyone knows are lies but still proclaimed as truth in politics, false advertising, human created suffering and war in many countries, preying on the vulnerable in society and treating the poor as less than worthy humans without going into the reasons why they ended up like that.

I believe the only viable way to achieve a vibrant, thriving, human society is by a judicious mix and balance of socialism and capitalism.


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 7 – Getting On

Srini woke up when the phone rang at about 11am. He was still a bit groggy. He looked at his phone. It was Anita calling.  He answered and she could tell he had been woken up late, probably by not getting to sleep early enough. She too had not slept well but was at work. Her boss had noticed something not quite OK with her and asked. Anita had told her. The boss had been very understanding and particularly appreciated her coming to work that day. She had offered her time off work whenever needed. Anita had taken a break and called Srini.

Just as Srini assured her he was OK and would go to make breakfast, there was a beep on his phone with a new call waiting.

“That must be Rohan, ‘Nitu. I will talk to you later, love. Go back and work. It will help you.”

He answered Rohan’s call. He had just stepped out for a break from his meeting. He thought he would simply call and find out how Srini was. Rohan too sounded like he had not slept well, but he would soldier on at work. He was a hardworking young man. Srini assured him that he was OK and on way to make breakfast. Rohan let him go.

As he had breakfast, he received a call from Molly. She was quiet and subdued, a bit different from her usual self. She asked if Srini could use her help in some chores or anything. She asked him to come over for a meal and stay at their place whenever he felt like. She was trying to do as much as she could while taking care of the kids and preparing to go back to work. She did not mind putting it off for a little while. Srini was touched by the love shown by his ‘three kids’. He replied that he would definitely take up the offers sometime.  He conveyed his love to the twins over the phone. He could hear them chattering and they heard his voice from the phone and babbled something back at him as he said his ‘bye, bye’ before hanging up. The twins were conditioned to wave goodbye with their hands when leaving. They apparently always waved their hands even when he said ‘bye, bye’ over the phone.  Molly would describe it and Srini always had a chuckle imagining that.

He had a few things to sort out with Dr. Fa soon.  He called up his friend. He was with a patient and took his call after a short wait. Annie, the receptionist was not in that morning. It was the younger new receptionist apprentice. She put him on through to Dr. Fa on hold. Srini waited, sipping his tea.

“Yes, Srini. How are you? Anything new?”

“Fa! I told my kids yesterday. I want to schedule the surgery as soon as you can. I want to get going as soon as I heal, in about two weeks after the surgery. I have a plan that I discussed with Dan. I want to travel overseas for 2-3 months to meet some people and see some places. I will come back here then and spend the rest of the time tying up some loose ends and spending time with my kids. Btw, do convey my regards to Emily and your children. How are they? We will have a party sometime and I want to invite them all.”

“Srini, I will arrange for the surgery to proceed soon. My office will get back to you soon. Yes, Emily is fine. She sends her regards. The kids are OK too. They are traveling now visiting family overseas. They will be back later this month. I’ll catch you later, Dost! “ Fa signed off as the next patient came into his office.

Srini got a call from Dr. Fa’s office that evening booking his surgery five days hence. He spent the next couple of days in writing up his plan for dividing up his financial assets. He met Dan and his boss Steve at their office and they arrived at a final draft.  They all signed it and it was done. Srini had given his kids their share. He had done the paperwork so that Rohan and Molly would have over half their 3 bedroom house in the new housing estate already paid for. It would reduce their mortgage by a significant amount that they could easily pay off in about 10 years.  Srini bought Anita a small 2 bedroom unit in the same estate, a couple of streets away, almost entirely paid off, but something she could pay off in a couple of years. He liked the idea of his children being close to each other literally as well as figuratively. They were far from their other relatives, who lived in other countries. He figured this would be a good way to keep them close, so that their own children might have a chance to have extended family nearby.  It was to be a surprise to them.

Srini had gone to the housing estate and reserved two suitable houses for his kids.  He paid a deposit and they were glad to oblige. He asked the management to keep things quiet and to arrange for all the paperwork to done as soon as Rohan and Anita wanted.

Srini had money set aside for himself, to spend in the following year. He also wrote a few checks to some of his favourite causes and a few people he wanted to help – in their work or personally.  They all went out that very day without an explanation as to his personal condition. He wanted to see everything done properly and legally before he was gone. There was to be no reading of wills or any possibility of litigation after he was gone. Only memories were to be entertained. He wanted it that way.

He called his kids over for dinner a couple of days before the surgery. Molly and Anita came over early to help cook up a feast. It was a warm afternoon.The twins came, all bright and ready to play. Srini took them out for a stroll through his neighbourhood and a play in the park. He attracted some surprised looks as he got the little ones out in the park to run about and play on the slides. There were many younger mothers and a couple of fathers who had brought their children.

One protested loudly when the other was taken out first. A couple of young mothers came up to help him get the twins off the pram. They tried to hide their surprise at the seeing this grey, but seemingly fit gentleman with such young kids. One was never sure these days if they were his kids or grandkids.

“I know, I know. But this is what one gets when one marries too late,” Srini joked.

Dinner was cooking when he went back home. Things were sizzling and bubbling in the kitchen. Srini sat down in the stool in the kitchen after putting the twins in the playpen. He felt a little winded.

“Here, have a buttermilk drink, Dad!” Anita offered him a glass.

Srini sipped it, relishing the taste and smell of crushed lemon leaves and salt.

“Appa, go and have a lie down, have your afternoon nap.  We will wake you up when Rohan gets here,” Molly said gently.

Srini went and lay on the couch, next to the twins playing. He gradually dozed off, even as the twins played around him, talking to him, he replied a few times. It was a wonderful sight and feeling that transported Srini into dreamland. When he started to snore the kids were surprised at the first big snore. They both turned around suddenly and lost their balance in the shock. Anita, who happened to be passing by, saw it. She went to tell Molly.

Srini woke up to see the twins being held by Rohan, right over him. They were reaching out and one caught his nostril while the other caught his glasses.

“Dad!” said Rohan as he set down the kids and gave Srini a hug as he was sat up.

They all washed up and sat down to dinner.  Rohan had picked up something special for dessert on his way. This was to be the last full meal for Srini before the surgery.  While there was some risk, Dr. Fa’s record of such operations was very, very good. Everyone was hopeful that Srini would come out of it well. They did not speak much about it that night. It was a weekend. Rohan’s family and Anita had planned to spend the night at Srini’s place and spend the next day with him. They would drive Srini to the surgery the following day according to plan.  It was a pleasant, jovial atmosphere at the house with just a hint of sombreness just below the surface.

After dinner, they all sat down in the living room for dessert with a cup of tea in hand. Srini casually asked Molly to pass on a folder that had been lying on the coffee table all day to him. She handed him that without much thought. The others too only paid casual attention to it.

Srini took out three envelopes and handed one each to Anita, Rohan and Molly. It had their names written on them simply in Srini’s characteristic handwriting.

“What is this Dad?” asked Anita with some surprise, as she carefully tore open the envelope. Rohan and Molly too were doing the same.

They each looked at the note that was inside. Srini’s eye carefully watched them and wandered between them. Their looks and changing expressions and look at him were something he would treasure, always. They were priceless for him. He was soon mobbed and the three were upon him. It was good that he was sitting in a comfortable couch with good back support.

“Dad! You should not do this!”

“Appa, you still will have many years. You will need this money.”

“Dad! This is too soon to think this way or do this even if you want.”

“Dad, I love you. Just the thought that you want to is enough. This is too much.”

“Dad, I love you.”

“Appa, I love you.”

This was a happy and tearful scrum. As expected the twins wanted to join in and hence broke it up.

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

With apologies to William Congreve

Heaven hath no delights as a woman charmed,
And Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 6 - Breaking The News To The Kids

Srini too went home. He lay in his bed, wondering if sleep would come early enough for him to be fresh and active the next day. If he stayed awake too late, usually, his next day was shot and he could not function properly. Normally, he would try to think and day dream his way to sleep with some soothing music playing. He did not try anything this night. Memories from his early childhood and parent came flooding in. He let them. He never realised when he drifted off to deep sleep. He woke up with a start as the morning alarm went off.

Srini got out of his bed, having forgotten the happenings of yesterday. He had had a lovely old familiar dream of his youth with his family and friends in India. Characters from his life in later years seamlessly mixed with the people of his youth. It had been good. He felt refreshed. As he stood up, walked over to the bathroom and caught his first breath of cold morning air that came in through the screen window, he felt the mild difficulty of breath. It reminded him of the events of the previous day. He stretched out his arms and legs in his usual routine and took a couple of slow, deep breaths. He felt OK, not too bad.

Srini decided to call and tell his kids the news himself, a bit earlier than he originally planned. His meeting with Dan had been productive. He called them and asked if they could stop by that evening for dinner. He said he was cooking one of their favourite meals, something they had had since their childhood. The kids were used to such unexpected dinner offers from him. They had spoken to the Dr. Fa the previous day and had been relieved at the tone of his explanation. They reckoned Srini was feeling good and thought up a celebration dinner. They had not seen him in a few days. They had been worried during their last meeting with the news about the tests Dr. Fa had prescribed. They had some engagements planned for the evening that they decided to reschedule. They both confirmed they would come that evening, Rohan with his wife and kids.

The planning for dinner, gathering the ingredients, shopping and preparation, gave Srini something familiar to do and think in the background. He could plan while doing something useful and being productive at the same time. This was different from his common modes of planning while lying down or reclining in a couch, still and silent or going on long, meandering walks.

Cleaning up the house, dusting a little, vacuuming a few spots, cleaning up the bathroom, kitchen and dining area, putting up the play pen area for the little twins while listening to his old favourite songs from childhood made the day pass by in a pleasant blur. He cooked the dinner and the last dish was on the stove. Before he realised it, the doorbell rang in the evening. He had not even noticed or heard Anita's car pulling into the driveway.

He opened the door smiling. His daughter blew in like gust of wind and gave him a hug and a kiss. He ruffled the hair on her head. He was the only one allowed to do that to her in public!

"How are you Daddy? I smell the cooking. I can tell what you have made. Oh I am so hungry! Do you know how long Rohan will be?" she continued without a pause, "I must tell you what happened today at work. I cannot believe it!"

Srini smiled contendedly, "What happened, dear? Something interesting and shocking it appears."

He followed her after shutting the front door. She blew into the kitchen, tossing her handbag onto to couch on her way and went up to the stove to stir the pot that was merrily bubbling and boiling.

Srini came up, "Would you like a Masala Chai (spiced tea) while you wait for dinner, 'Nita? Rohan should be about 15 minutes away."

His 'Sunshine Angel', as he sometimes referred to her, nodded and continued her chatter. She told him all about a surprise, the news of reorganisation and promotion of someone unexpected to the position of VP. Then there was the cop who stopped her on the way for a random breath test and kept chatting with her, despite her being all clean. He seemed to want to confirm all her details and had delayed her. She seemed annoyed with him.

Srini kept a straight face and asked," Did you note his name? What was his rank?"

"I dont know, Dad! I did not note what rank he was!" she said.

"What did he look like? Was he good looking?" asked Srini barely able to conceal his smile.

"Dad!! Dad! He was not my type! Anyway, he is supposed to be doing a job and keep the traffic moving. Dad! Stop it!" she protested, noting his smile.

"Ok, 'Nita, I understand. Maybe he liked you and was just abusing his authority to get to know you. In matters of the heart, these things happen, you know. Did he do or say anything inappropriate?" asked Srini.

"No! Of course not!  He did not say or do anything that I could take offense at. It was how he went about things slowly. He was very polite and a gentleman. Just not my type," she said firmly.

"Poor chap. I always knew you would break a few hearts and even get yours broken sometime. Such is life, 'Nitu," said Srini gently, passing on a cup of tea to her.

She took a sip. From his demeanour, Srini's daughter could not pick up any hint of what was to come. She started to set out the plates, the table, filled water in the cups. She saw the play pen for the tots and laughed. She went over to her handbag and pulled out a toy she had bought for the little ones to play with. It was something that both could hold on to and pull. It made a set of different sounds and noises each time it was pulled. It should make for an interesting tug-of-war she reckoned.

As they finished cooking the meal and put it on to the dining table, they heard Rohan's car pulling up outside. Anita ran out to help bring the twins in. She liked to carry one on each side. They loved their Aunt 'Nita' as much as she adored them. Rohan and his wife Molly followed with the double pram, the bags with the kids' supplies, their handbag, wallets and keys. They always seemed to be surrounded by many packages or bags since the kids were born. It seemed they had sprouted a couple of extra hands somewhere or had become like coat racks. Anita greeted them and the twins quickly jumped and climbed on to her.

It was a melee at the door, the kids promptly jumped on to Srini directly from Anita, both at the same time, calling out 'Thatha! Thatha!” Srini managed to get them both on to him. They kissed him on either cheek. They laughed as he lifted each on his arm and gave them a pretend 'flight' into the living room with full sound effects. He set them down into the playpen and they jumped at the toy that Anita had left there. The tug of war started.

Srini, went over to receive a hug from Rohan and Molly. They had parked the pram and set down the bags.

"Smells good in here.  We are hungry! Sorry, I was delayed by traffic and random breath testing on the way," said Rohan as he and Molly walked inside towards the dining room with Srini in between.

"Yes, I heard about it. Did you notice one particularly good-looking but slow police officer, among them?" asked Srini smiling cheekily at Anita.

"What? What happened?" asked Molly, smiling.

"Nothing, he just is not Anita's type," said Srini.

"I thought they were all very professional and looked good in their uniforms," said Molly laughing.

"Yes, even that female constable who tested my breath. Looked very smart in her uniform," Rohan joined in.

"Dinner is just ready. Would you all like to get started while it is still nice and warm?" asked Srini.

"The little ones have already had their main feed. We can feed them some tidbits after we have eaten," said Rohan.

They all sat down for a meal watching the twins playing at the end of the room, in their play pen. Everyone chatted and ate heartily. Rohan too had some news. He and Molly had been checking out neighbourhoods to buy their own first house for some time now. Srini asked about how the search was going. There were some new housing estates opening up near one of their preferred locations, near a primary school. Rohan and Molly were hopeful of applying and getting a house there. They had done all their preparation and paperwork done in advance. Rohan was getting a raise at work and Molly was preparing to get back to her job once the twins started kinder in a few months. Her employers were keen to have her back. They had kept in touch.

As the grownups ate, the twins started to clamber over the playpen and came to get their little scraps that were carefully selected for them and fed. They went over to Srini and Anita, who were given the privilege to give them the most. They played a game where they would get one fed in their mouth and given one in hand, to go and give to their little brother. Then the second one would come and the same thing repeated. If they both fed a piece and given one in hand, they would dutifully meet the other and fed each other the one in the hand. It was fun to watch. They got so used to this eating and sharing that, if they were fed by someone new, they would still wait for piece in hand to take to their twin.

As the dinner wound down, Anita and Rohan helped clean up and put things away, load the dishwasher and fetch the drinks before settling on the couch to have a chat. Molly cleaned up after the kids and sat next to them, ready to note if they were ready to sleep. When they were, each of the twins would go and lie down on the lap of a parent or Srini or Anita to be gently rocked to sleep.

The kids went back to play in the pen watching the spinning colours and gentle music.

After the adults sat down in the couch nearby watching the kids, one of them crawled up to Molly's lap. The other played by himself.

Srini put his glass away in the sink and walked over to them

"I have something to tell you all. I got some news yesterday. Fa told me...," he started.

"I spoke to Uncle Fa  yesterday. He did not seem too concerned. It’s alright and nothing to worry about. Isn’t it?" Rohan asked anxiously.

Anita too seemed relieved and she too said,"I am glad Uncle Fa did not say it was serious."

"Yes, I had spoken to him about it. I asked him to not tell you. I wanted to tell you myself," Srini began.

Anita's heart sank. She had a funny feeling in her stomach. She observed her father's face. It was calm, gentle but with some concern showing as he looked at them. He seemed to be more concerned about them. Rohan had a surprised expression. He looked worried.

"I have about 18 months left to live as per Fa's best estimate," Srini barely finished his sentence when, instinctively, both Anita and Rohan got up and hugged Srini from either side. He hugged them both tightly. Anita buried her head in his chest and started to sob. Rohan looked as if he were hit and about to collapse. Tears started to roll down his eyes. He kept looking at Srini's gently smiling face. He leaned over on to his father as if he could not support himself. Srini stood still and gently said,"Hey, my treasures, I love you. I will be OK. Fa will look after me right up to the end... I am going for surgery next week..." He trailed off.

Molly quickly set down the twin in her lap and walked over. She too could not contain herself. She hugged Rohan and Anita on either side as she too went over and laid her head on Srini's chest. Srini stood surprisingly strong, smothered by his three kids as he called them.

For a full five minutes, the only sounds heard were of Anita's and Rohan's sobs. Molly sniffed away her tears. Srini kept saying, "There, there. I am not bad now. It is going to be OK. I still will have some good long time. It is part of life. I will never be away from you in spirit. Come, come my dears. I love you all too. Now, you are going to make me cry."

Suddenly, they heard and felt the twins at their legs, They had seen the adults and come to mimic them. They held on to Molly's legs and they started to cry too, even though they did not understand what was happening.

Suddenly, the tension was broken. They all broke up the group hug.

Srini and Molly picked up the little ones.

"What are you crying for, Cheeki and Cheeku?" asked Srini, laughing and smiling at them. Looking at him they stopped crying and smiled. They wanted to be hugged too. He picked one up and the other reached out to him. They figured Srini was the centre of hugging and they wanted to be in there, up close to the centre of attention. He picked the second one up too and sat down on the couch. Anita, Rohan and Molly came and sat down on the carpet, at his legs. They were all still teary-eyed and Anita was being comforted by Rohan and Molly.

"Well, look at me. I have everything, my world here in my arms and around me. I am a lucky fellow. Not all achieve this in life. I have had a great lifetime, this time around. I will surely be back in this family soon as possible, young and strong. 'Nitu, just you wait! I will show up in your house." Srini said with gentle conviction.

It was a longer night than anyone had planned. The twins went to sleep. Molly put them to sleep in their prams. Srini just sat there, looking into the eyes of his children and Molly. They all looked back at him with love.

"Would you all like another drink?" Srini asked. Molly got up and offered to make them. She went over to the kitchen counter and made them all a drink. Rohan and Anita sat at Srini's feet, looking up, while he held their hand or patted their heads, running his hand through their hair, as he used to do since they were kids. They had always enjoyed it.

Srini decided to break the silence and the tension. He asked them to come and sit around him. They did.

"Look my precious treasures. I want to share something I have thought about since I turned 40. I often used to consider that the halfway mark or thereabouts for an average lifespan. I used to often poke fun at the 40th birthday parties of friends by giving them a card. It had a picture of a hill with the stick figure on the top. I would write the name of the person with an arrow pointing to the stick figure and write a caption below. From now on, it is all downhill... For me that was fifteen years ago!  Every year after that I would give them the same card for their birthday with one small change. The stick figure was drawn a little further down the hill.

Do you remember the old puzzle I used to ask you as kids - how far can you run into a forest?

You used to ask me how big the forest was? What was its shape? In what direction was one supposed to be running? You said you could not answer the question otherwise. Do you remember?" Srini asked.

Rohan and Anita nodded. They remembered the answer too.

"Halfway," they both said together.

"Yes, one can only run halfway into a forest, after that one would be running out of the forest. Similarly, one can only be heading into a lifetime for half the lifespan. After that, we are on our way out. This is life and we cannot stop running. I have run a good distance, less than some but more than many. I do not have too many regrets. There are still a few things I want to do in the time I have left. I have thought about it. I am planning to go into surgery next week. It will take about 2 weeks to recover. Fa says it will give me about 18 months. The year immediately after the surgery would be a good time to be active and get things done. The cancer will come back and from then on I might not be able to travel far or do things.  Immediately after I recover from the surgery, due next week, I want go away for 2-3 months to travel to meet some people and see some places I want to. Then I want to come back, attend to a few things, tying up some loose ends and spending the rest of the time with you. Fa has promised to take care of me until the end."

"You have been thinking about this a while, Dad?" Anita asked.

"Not really. On and off, in brief moments over the years, yes. I seemed to have come up with something vague but close to this plan over many years. It suddenly became clear to me yesterday, since I came from Fa's office." Srini explained.

It was hard saying goodbye that night. Rohan had an early meeting at work. Anita wanted to cancel her work engagements and spend the night at Srini’s place. Srini advised her against it.

“Look ‘Nitu, you have just started at this job and I am OK now. There will soon be times in the future when, I and you, both would like you to stay back. You are new at your job. Go to work tomorrow. Ask for such privileges later when it is more needed, OK? If you start out like this, they may not count you as reliable. I promise you, I will be OK.”

It was with much reluctance that Srini helped them all pack up and walked them to their vehicles to see them off after a couple of hours.

“Drive safely and be calm. Do be nice to that young policeman if you see him on your way back!” he called out to Anita, blowing her a kiss.

The twins were asleep and were loaded in that mode on to their tiny seats in the back of the car. Molly decided to drive back with Rohan on the passenger side. They too had said their goodbyes tearfully. Srini kissed the twins and blew kisses to Rohan and Molly as they drove off.

He felt a bit tired, but pleasantly so. He thought he would sleep well. He turned in. But surprisingly he did not get to sleep well that night. The looks on his children’s faces haunted him. He wondered if such strong love was a good thing, if it made them too miserable and unable to cope with the loss of him. He wondered how many millions went through things like this and worse every single day, but life went on and the earth spun around like it had for billions of years. This is a normal everyday occurrence – death and passing. Not everyone gets as much notice in advance, even if they live for very long, he observed. It was a long sleepless, restless night. He dozed off, exhausted in early morning hours. He was feeling very sleepy and numb when the alarm went off. He did not feel like waking up. He turned the alarm off and went back to sleep.



Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 5 - Goals

After dinner, Dan and Srini sat down in Dan's study, discussed and worked out the details of what Srini planned to do. He wanted to give his children half the value of a portion of his assets. He had confidence in his children that they would use it wisely. They were each working hard and trying to achieve financial independence. They never asked or asked to borrow money from him. He had watched carefully from a distance and often pitched in his 'gifts' in the most timely and appropriate manner to help them cover a short gap, much to their surprise. They knew their father never spied on their affairs, but he was very good at figuring out and estimating. He cared from a respectful distance.

"I reckon I will be down and lying in bed or resting for some six months.  Monetarily I have about what I would spend in 5 years, to spend in about an year. Do you think that is about right?" asked Srini.

Dan nodded. It sounded about right.

"Srini, you can make a plan and I will work out the details. I will get back to you in a couple of weeks and then you can OK it or modify it if you wish."

"I have a few places and people I want to visit around the world. I will go into surgery next week. Fa says it would be about 2 weeks to recover. I want to set out soon after. I reckon I will be gone about a 2-3 months. Then I want to come back here and do a bit of work I have long wanted to do. That will take a couple of months. I want to spend time around here with the kids and grandkids for as long as I can. It should be good. I look forward to getting things done and not put things off," Srini sounded excited and positive, just like he did when starting off a new business venture.

It was getting late. Srini and Dan said decided to call it a day. As they were at the door saying goodnights and goodbyes, Dan decided to walk down with Srini to his car. It was a cool, autumn night. A bit of fog was settling down. Dan noted that Srini appeared still fit as normal in the way he walked. There was a slight heaviness to his breathing and slight hoarseness to his voice.

Srini drove off. Dan walked back to his house, taking much longer to get to his door than he normally would.

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 4 - Why That Plan?

Dan went over to the kitchen, Srini followed him. The task of getting the roast out and serving the meal gave Dan just the break he needed to compose himself and think.

The two friends sat down to have dinner. Srini poured out the Chill-wine. Dan brought out one of his own favourite country wine that Srini too liked. They served the meal on the plates, sat down and ate quietly. Both were hungry and surprisingly the quiet helped them eat. Srini seemed to eat well, while Dan's appetite was a little impacted by the news. Thoughts were racing through his mind and he knew better than to show them or talk about them now. "All in good time," he knew as Srini was fond of saying.

Dan knew that Srini had a very good relationship with both his children. He was not sure if Srini did not want to leave them anything. Even if that were the case, from what he knew, the kids would not mind. They were independent, hardworking and had never shown any desire or expectation from Srini. If anything they would try and help and pitch in anytime they thought he might need something. But still, he was aware of the normal instinct of a parent to leave something behind for their kids. A few did not for specific reasons. Dan had dealt with the business side of such legal wills and wishes.

After a quiet dinner, the two friends walked over to the couch and sat across from each other, their half-filled wine glasses in hand. Srini looked at Dan's concerned face with a cheeky smile.

It appeared he could guess what was going through Dan's mind that he did not want to ask. He just wanted to listen.

"Dan, it is not that I don't want to leave anything for my kids. Sure I do. That is only part of it. I want to give them something as soon as possible. I want to spend the rest myself and leave with just a penny."

"Of course Srini, you can do what you want with your money and assets. I will see that it is done legally according to your wishes. I cannot personally give you the legal advice, but Steve my manager can. He is the one qualified to do so. I can tell you the tax implications and suggest strategies. I have worked on cases with him where the children got nothing and contested the will. We did the right thing. But can I ask why and how you came to such a decision?"

 "I have long had a faith and belief," said Srini with a faraway look in his eyes,"I think I got it from my grandfather. He worked hard and struggled, but fate always seemed against him. He did everything he could for my father and us, as little children. He was dead set against borrowing or getting into debt.  But he finally did it out of desperation to pay for my father's education and paid it off. He then borrowed to help treat my brother's illness. He expected to pay that off before he died, but could not manage it. He had to witness a repossession of some things in the days before he died. I remember on his death bed, he bade us all goodbye and had a message for my father and blessings for us. We all witnessed it."

Dan listened quietly.

Srini continued, "My grandfather said he had tried to live to our ancient cultural maxim that we come into this world with nothing and we leave taking nothing with us. But if we leave it without owing anything to anybody, paying all our debts with the last penny, it was a measure of a successful life. He expressed regret that he was not able to do so. He apologised to his children and blessed them.

"I hope you can die without owing anything to anyone, even if you die with your last penny just spent. You will have done better than I did. I hope your children do better than you do," said my grandfather to my father.  My father worked hard all his life and achieved that. He died with nothing to his name, but he did not leave us any debts. I want to do one better than my dad according to his and grandfather's wishes. I want to die with just a penny to my name. I want to hold it in my hand and take it with me. One of my heroes - and Indian actor called Ashok Kumar, did this. He wanted to take something to give his maker, as he put it," Srini said smiling, with a calm firm conviction that was born of a long, deep seated desire.

Dan was surprised a bit to hear this. He had seen Srini work and plan to grow his business and wealth just like anyone else he had seen, who wanted more, wanted to live really well and leave behind a sizable fortune to his family and to some dear causes. Dan realised he was witnessing the revelation of deep cultural roots, beliefs and memories of a distant land and culture in his friend's explanation.

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

Turning 18 in Australia - Drink and Vote

When an Australian turns 18, he or she can legally drink alcohol and legally vote in elections.  While voting is compulsory, drinking is not. But this is how Aussies do it. Strictly in order, drink first and then vote.
One turns 18, elections come up. One drinks until some candidate or their policies start to look appealing and casts one's vote before the effect wears off!.

Maybe drinking should be compulsory too! More countries need to adopt the Aussie model of democracy and turning 18.


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 3 - The Plan

That evening, he set out to visit Dan, with a bottle of his Chilli-wine with him. He drove his car up to Dan's street and parked it a little ways away from the house, where he could find some parking without a power line or tree directly over. The birds there were very well fed it seemed.

Srini walked up to Dan's door and rang the bell. Shortly, Dan opened the door, smiling and welcoming him warmly. Srini handed him the bottle of Chilli-wine and they laughed. There were many good memories around that Chilli-wine. They went in and Dan had the table already set.

"It will be a few minutes before the roast is done. Would you like something to drink first? What will you have?" asked Dan. Chilli-wine was not to be had on an empty stomach, so they always chose something else.

"I'll have some of that lemon, lime and bitters if you have it," said Srini.

They sat down with the drinks in hand on the couch in the living room. The smell of a roast cooking in the kitchen wafted down whetting their appetite. Dan was known to make a mean roast with herbs and spices from his own garden. He was a country boy at heart and still went home to his country house often where his family lived.

"So Srini! It's been a while. I did not expect to see you for a while. I checked all your papers and returns are in order. Nothing due. Is everything alright, Mere Dost (my friend)?" Dan asked.

"Actually Dan, something did come up suddenly. Fa tells me I have about 18 months to live. I have been thinking and have decided upon a few things. I need your help," said Srini in a matter-of-fact tone. Dan knew him well enough to realise it was a mask.

It seemed to take Dan a couple of seconds for the import to sink in. His rugged, pink face seemed to blanch. He was always considered one of the 'coolest' among Srini's group of friends. Nothing, not even the threat or fear of a tax audit could usually rattle him or elicit an anxious look on Dan's face. He was always calm, collected and had famously dealt with some of the most dire news in business circles as if he was listening to a boring weather report. One of his clients had actually attempted suicide at the news. Dan's composure even in that situation was so 'cool' and calm that it became legend. There were jokes and bets about trying to make him surprised, upset or even display any sign of annoyance.

"Oh Srini! That's rough mate. I hope Fa is wrong this time," said Dan, realizing that in their group of friends, Dr. Fa had a reputation for being one of the very best in his profession. He was rarely off the mark.

"He has promised to see me through and be there for me until the very end," said Srini with some sense of comfort, "Look I have not told my kids yet. I will in a few days. I want to discuss something with you tonight. I want to confirm some figures and tell you some ideas I have. I want your opinion and thoughts. I have some things to clarify before I proceed with a plan I have."

"Of course, Mere Dost! Anything I can do for you, be assured, I will do all I can," Dan went up and put his arm around Srini. He was reminded of them walking in this fashion, arms around each other's shoulders in Dan's small Australian country town, after Dan had returned from a trip to India. It is common for male friends to walk around like that in that culture. It indicates friendship. In Western countries, people would assume something about a man's sexual orientation if he went about like that. So, to play a prank on their well-known neighbours, Srini and Dan had taken a walk like that down the main street. Dan and Srini had got so many surprised looks but no comments. Dan's wife was in on it and had walked a few steps behind them, watching and laughing. She laughed even more at the surprise and expressions she evoked, when people recognised her walking just behind the two friends!

"Dan, I estimated that I have assets worth about $NNNNNNN. Would you agree?"

"That would be about right, Srini."

"I want to dispose of all of it before I am gone, save for one penny," said Srini.

For the second time that day and perhaps the second time that anyone had seen him do, Dan's face showed surprise and a bit of shock.

The oven's alarm went off.

"I am ravenous. Let's eat," said Srini.


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 2 - Taking Stock

Chapter 2 - Taking stock

Srini, walked over to his house. It was in a suburb bordering the city's business district. It was a small one and enough for his needs as he lived alone. There was an extra bedroom and study that often doubled as a bedroom when his daughter visited him. When more friends or family came to stay, they adopted the traditional Indian approach of all available rooms being converted into bedrooms for the night - women and children given the preferential bedrooms, men sleeping on couches or mats laid out on the floor.

Srini went over to the computer in a corner of his room, across from his bed. He pulled up a set of accounts online that gave a picture of what he owned as assets or wealth. He was reasonably well off. He had expected to live about 20-25 more years, barring anything unforeseen. He could have supported himself in his usual thrifty lifestyle with his savings and aged pension if it came to that and would still have a little left over to spare and leave behind for his children and grandchildren. Now all his previous plans and expectations were rendered moot. He sat and thought deeply for a while. He was used to deliberating and thinking for long before making most decisions. Now he suddenly felt the pressure of time. He wanted to make decisions quicker. Even minutes and seconds seemed precious and borrowed from other things he would rather be doing. 

"Calm down! Be reasonable! You cannot hurry through everything in the rest of the time left,"  he told himself. 

There had always been a small dormant idea in his mind that his soul was beyond time and this lifetime in this current body of his. It might have been from the philosophical roots of his culture. He had not given it much thought. Now suddenly, it assumed a giant, dominant proportion and seemed to have mind of its own. It now took over his mind with a speed and irresistible power that surprised him. He did not know what would come after this lifetime and did not care to dwell on it. He just felt that it would be something new, different and truly unknown. He developed a small curiosity to wait and experience for himself when the time came.

Srini called his business accountant, Dan, who was also a good friend he had known for more than a couple decades. Dan had a good legal mind and background in law as well. He worked for a firm that provided legal and financial accounting services to many big firms in the city. They also worked with some of their old clients who had been with them since their early days as a 'small' company that was growing. Srini was one such old, valued client. He was not too old himself, in his early 50s, but had worked with this company since his early days of starting his own business.

"Hi Srini! How are you, mate? What's up?" asked Dan as he answered the call.

"Good day, Dan! I need to meet and talk to you soon. What's the earliest time you can find for me?" asked Srini without making it sound too urgent or giving anything away yet. He would, of course, have to tell Dan everything.

"Well, I am busy, fully booked all day today," replied Dan looking at his schedule in front of him, "Looks like the same tomorrow..." 
A thought raced through Dan's mind. It was unusual for Srini to call and request a meeting suddenly like this. All his accounts were in order and all papers were filed and nothing due anytime soon. He did not want to ask prying questions, but sensed that Srini might have something important in his mind. 

"Srini, I am fully booked almost until the end of the week. However, can we discuss it over dinner or a meal, afterhours? I am alone at home since the kids and my wife are visiting her parents. Would you like to join me tonight,  my place? Bring along your hot Chilli-wine if you still have some."

"That's a plan, Dan. See you at 7 this evening?" replied Srini smiling. The hot Chilli-wine was a prank wine that was a hit with some. It was a party favourite with many of his friends.

Shortly, he had two calls. His son and daughter were calling to inquire about the results of his meeting with Dr. Fa. He replied in a nonchalant tone that,  "They are still going to run a few more tests before figuring out what may or may not be." 
He made it sound like he was not too worried yet and that they too should not. It worked. They got back to their busy lives. 

Srini's son,  Rohan, was married to a lovely girl and they had two tiny tots. He had a busy work schedule and was working his way up in his career The daughter, Anita, had just started to work after completing her university studies. She was getting a lot of attention from many young men and was apparently interested in one of them. Srini never asked prying questions, but both his children usually shared anything important with him. He knew his daughter wanted to make sure it was something serious before letting him know 'properly'. Normally, she would talk about her friends and even those that she liked or those that liked her, without giving too much away, but certainly not hiding anything. Srini valued that type of relationship with his children very much. His close friends knew that he considered that one of his 'achievements' or treasures in his life.

Srini went about the rest of the day going over his life and taking stock - what he had, what he still wanted and how to go about things in the rest of the time left. He did not take his usual afternoon nap. He made his lunch and then went for a stroll down the street.  He took his usual route. He waved to the usual people he usually waved to. They waved back. It seemed a very ordinary, typical day. He came back home from the walk and finished some of the work for his business that he usually did. He had a couple of deadlines to meet. He thought about them and laughed at the term 'deadlines'. He thought it funny and good that one might have many 'deadlines' in life, but only one when it came to death.



Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved