HRRomeo and his Juliet were visiting
her best friend one weekend for dinner. Juliet was helping her find a match on
this online dating site. They were, together, going over a list of profiles of
men to narrow down the choices. After considering her experience so far, Juliet
and her friends considered her something of an expert.
Now, if you are wondering how Juliet
and HRRomeo were still together after reading the previous part of this
narrative, I am sure you know you are not alone. Many of their friends were
aghast at the number of things HRRomeo could not remember about Juliet and the
carefree, open manner in which he admitted to it, when quizzed. They were all
stunned when he did not even notice the shoes she was wearing to the anniversary
party of their friends. Everyone was curious as to how it would turn out. Most
would predict that Juliet herself would be headed to the dating site soon.
Sorry to disappoint you if you thought so too. Well, this is what actually happened.
“So my HRRomeo, you did not even
notice the shoes I am wearing right now to this party?!!” asked Juliet with a
slight tinge of incredulity that caused her voice to rise above others.
“That’s right!!” exclaimed HRRomeo
innocently and with a sense of relief.
“You do not know my favourite colour or
the date we met or the flowers I like?” she wanted him to confirm all these, in
front of all the witnesses.
Many of the other women interrupted their
torture of their mates to watch the storm break. The men were thankful for the
interruption and many tried to sneak looks at their mate’s shoes, hair,
earrings or anything that they could lay their eyes on quickly. Inevitably, all
eyes and ears turned towards Juliet and HRRomeo.
“Yes, that is true indeed! It so
interesting that one can forget details of significant dates, days in life or fail
to notice or recollect details of things that we see so often. Isn’t it strange
how the human mind works?” HRRomeo posed his own question at the end back to
Juliet. If ever a spark needed fuel to become a flame, this was exactly the
kind of thing our Romeo needed to do.
There were gasps of disbelief and a
feeling of impending lightning strike with thunderbolts to add to the show. All
other voices went silent.
“Oh! You think so? Do you think it is
easy for people to forget or not notice things that are important to them, Darling?
Is that how your mind works, Sweetie?” Juliet’s tone became real sweet and its
temperature dropped to freezing.
Quite oblivious to the sudden chill in
the atmosphere, HRRomeo earnestly replied with a confident air.
“No Juliet! It is very difficult to forget the
_important_ things in life, but one
can easily forget or not notice the less significant details about them!” He
smiled with a satisfied air at his explanation and looked around the room.
Everyone in the room was stunned. Just
when they thought HRRomeo’s plight could not get any worse, it seemed, he was
determined to dig himself deeper!
“Oh! I see now! You don’t remember insignificant details like our
anniversary, my favourite colours, dress, songs or dislikes. Hmm… Romeo, ARE there
things you consider significant or important things worth remembering, in our
relationship? ARE there things that you HAVE noticed about me? Can you remember
some, Romeo dearest?” Juliet asked, honey dripping in her voice. Icicles
started to form on the ceilings of the room. Everyone experienced a slight
shiver and drew their clothes around them a little tighter.
“Of course I have noticed and remember
a lot of things about you!! I have observed even little things that are not really
important. But I like them and notice them anyway! I do remember many of them,”
said HRRomeo brightly.
It seemed our HRRomeo would be
clueless even if someone came up to him with a big blunt instrument in bright,
flashing neon colours and knocked him on the forehead and yelled at him, ‘STOP!!
STOP talking and making things worse for yourself and Juliet! Man!! How dense can you be?”
“Can you share with us all some of
them, Romeo darling?” asked Juliet in a strangely calm, even voice. She had, by
a Herculean effort, managed to count to ten, slow down her breathing and lower
her blood pressure. Many of her long-time friends recognised this as the proverbial
‘calm before the storm’ or as the ‘eye of the hurricane’.
“Sure, Juliet!” said HRRomeo,
cheerfully.
He then continued, “I remember seeing you for the first time, from a distance.
You had not noticed me as I walked in around a corner. I saw you sitting in
front of the restaurant, looking down at your handbag on your lap. Your hair
was falling down in front of your face. I could see your crimson lips pursed up
in a slight frown of concentration as you checked something. Your eyelids were
down and you were reading a text on your phone. Suddenly, you smiled to
yourself. You then looked up, but not at me. I saw your eyes for the first
time. They looked a different colour in real life from that in your online
picture. You looked over to your side as you brushed away your hair that was
blocking your sight. I noticed some of the hair caught in your big earrings (don’t
ask me exactly which pair) that you were wearing, and you panicked and gently
untangled them. You then brushed your hair down quickly. You tapped your crossed
feet together as you waited to spot me.
I noticed the first look of surprise
when you caught sight of me. You then had an amused expression. I was wondering
if I had something glaring and out of place that you were too polite to point
out.
I notice that you always swallow the
last word and choke up as you say goodbye to your mother at the end of your
phone call.
I notice that you always put the
larger portion of the chicken pieces on my plate when we share a meal together.
I notice that you wait for me to take the first bite before we get started
eating. I notice you give me the crispier part of the fries or chicken.
I notice that you have a habit of
biting part of your lower lip on one side, as you think deeply about something
or weighing up something. You let go of the lip when you have decided.
I notice that when you are upset or
angry with yourself about something, you turn your head away to the side and
silently swear, barely mouthing your expletives. I notice then you try to count
to ten silently, while looking down at the ground or your feet.
I notice that on Fridays you don’t
like to do the dishes right after dinner because you watch your favourite
program on TV, even though it is your day to do them. You do it much later,
just before going to bed. On some days that I do them without your knowledge,
you notice and always serve me a snack and beer or a drink when I am in front
of the TV. You then pick up my plates and wash them right away, even if it is
my day to do the dishes!
I note that you like to carry your
sandals (thongs) with you to the edge of the water on the beach. You like to
set them down on the wet sand and wear them soon before the dry sand sticks to
your wet feet! But then you struggle at the car with some sand getting between
your soles and the sandals anyway after we have made it to the parking lot!
I notice that you look at yourself in
the mirror twice from each angle as you put on your make up. You stretch out
your arms and legs before you walk out in a dress as you try it on.
I notice that you like to hold your
sister’s baby and rock it to sleep. You have an unforgettable expression when
you see it has finally fallen asleep. It appears you cannot wait to have your own
child.
I notice how fierce you become when
you see someone not being nice or rude to me. I remember how angry you became
and told off that fruit vendor who tried to cheat me at the market!
I remember how you tried to hide your
anger towards your cousin, in front of me. You thought one of her comments to
me was snide, even though you thought I had not noticed it. You did your best
not to let me know she was being a bit cheeky. You tried and smoothed it over
between us. I noticed you dealt with her privately.
I noticed and remember you being hurt
and feeling the pain when I did not get the raise I hoped for, after putting in
a great effort last year at work. You quietly shelved our plans for another
holiday abroad.
I remember the momentary break in your
voice as you asked me “How are you? Are you alright?” when I called you from
the hospital after that minor traffic accident when I was delayed coming home.”
The icicles in the ceiling melted away
as did most of the hearts in the room, especially Juliet’s. HRRomeo continued on with his list for a
while longer, until he had to stop as Julie could no longer check her tears.
His long list of recollections was heard by Juliet in private, later, in many
doses.
Well, anyway, back to the present.
Juliet was reading out the profile of a man on the dating website. She called
over HRRomeo to come over. He was watching TV while Juliet and her girlfriend were
at the computer working on the profiles and chatting away in the adjoining room.
“Come over here a moment, darling! I
want you to listen to this and tell me what you think?” Juliet said with an
ominous glee in her tone. It did not bode well for mankind (more accurately for menkind,
or atleast a certain kind of men).
HRRomeo, dutifully, turned off the TV
and walked over. He walked in and stood at the door. Juliet smiled at him.
“Here is what a man wants in a woman
he is seeking as life partner.
Requirements in a partner:
Physical attraction important. Must be
healthy and fit with an ability to maintain an active, energetic lifestyle.
Education. At least some college or
professional skill a must.
Financially independent: Working or independently
wealthy to provide financially for the family.
Must have ability to cook, clean,
garden, drive and take care of the children, if any. Would be a plus if she can
do handy jobs around the house too.
Must have a sense of humour,
emotionally healthy and mature. A spirit of fun and the desire to enjoy life
and explore. Should know how to treat a man. A sense of adventure and romance
is sought.
Spiritual outlook is necessary without
being too religious.”
With each sentence Juliet’s friend
seemed to emit little squeaks and squeals and expressions of surprise or some
intense feeling.
“Well, what do you think?” Juliet
asked. Her friend has this incredulous expression on her face. If our HRRomeo
could have read their collective expression, it would have screamed, “What?!!!
In this day and age? When did this male chauvinist caveman come to life
suddenly?”
Apparently, HRRomeo did not read their
expression. He was listening intently to the list. He asked Juliet to repeat
the list, since he had been a bit distracted by the exclamations and
expressions the first time around.
“So what do you think?” Juliet asked
him at end of the second reading, obviously expecting something from the male
perspective.
“Well, sounds good to me. A good list!”
said HRRomeo.
--To Be Continued ---
Copyright (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
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