Why No No:1?

"If you are your own No:1, you are not likely to become someone else's. No one will see a need to put you as theirs."

Moving from India to the self-styled No:1 country, I was struck by its interesting culture of defining No: 1. There, it is a synonym for 'oneself'. This is quite different from the Indian concept of "The One Self (supposedly The One Universal Spirit)". It is just another term for God, no matter what religion people follow. Culturally that is what is drummed into us. The term 'first person' in English refers to oneself. We are not the first person on this planet, in our family or whatever always. In Indian culture the word for the concept of "selfness "Ahem-kaar" is the same as "arrogance" which is frowned upon except in a tiny inescapable measure.

In India, hardly anyone dare proclaim themselves as No: 1. They would be culturally and socially unacceptable. I am always tickled by the very common practice in Indian culture, with its countless idols of worship from rats to kings, where a romantic couple in love will both, in front of each other pray and proclaim 'God' as the No:1. It takes the mickey out of both the partners when it comes to serious differences or conflicts on matters of the highest principle. The same applies to people in politics in India. All have to pay visible homage to the No:1 above all of us humans, to be considered vote-worthy. The ego of everyone is kept in check. You know, you cannot compete against God and win in your expectations from your spouse or electorate - if push came to shove.

Atheists in India tend to put some kind of 'principles of good living or fairness' as No:1. I was not quite sure, being agnostic, but I certainly did not feel comfortable assuming the No: 1 spot myself.

In the West everyone is encouraged to look out for No: 1, saying - "If you don't look out for No:1, no one will." The prevailing culture certainly seems to validate it. But this is an idea that is self-fulfilling - it perpetuates and creates the conditions that warrant such an outlook to life. However, this concept does not really reflect the reality as I see it, even in the West.

If everyone indeed puts themselves as No:1, no one is the No:1 for anyone else, we would live in an utterly selfish society, when push comes to shove -as promoted in the West. If people put others as No:1, we would all live in an absolutely selfless, kind and compassionate society as promoted in the East.

However, that is not what we see as the reality around us - either in the West or in the East. In practice, there are utterly selfish people in the Eastern culture and the most self-sacrificing people in the West too.

Why this apparent contradiction?

When we choose and act in a situation, the ranking of No:1 usually depends on a narrower context. We all instinctively or regularly put our children, friends, lovers and parents as No:1 in varying contexts, when push comes to shove. People all over the world regularly sacrifice their own time, benefits and even life for the welfare of others over their own needs, wishes or desires. Humanity cannot be captured in one absolute ranking.

The sweetest way to live is when we put others as our No:1, as the situation calls for it, occasionally making sure, we are not neglecting ourselves to our detriment. We will then surely evoke feelings in most others to put us as the No:1 or in the top ranks of their priorities. It makes life so much more sweet, rewarding and we can more often experience the joy of living in a society.

Putting others as No:1 does not have to imply low-esteem, servility or neglect of ourselves as any lesser being. Certainly, people who are suffering those conditions should put themselves as No:1, in many situations to pull themselves out of being victims.

So, when there is no No:1, everyone is just about the same at the basic level - and need to be treated equally fairly and with love. Not quite possible in practice, just as it is not to keep ourselves as No:1 always. That is the stuff that leads to human engineered catastrophes..

So that is why I say 'NO No:1", but please excuse me. I need to go and pee now..


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
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