Sitting down, now past the 'middle point' of even an unreasonably generous, long expected lifetime, I'm pausing. I am looking back at life, looking at where I am now and looking ahead. It seems a good time to 'take stock' as they say - listing one's past experiences, a look at the current state and hopes for the future.
I choose to consider my 'achievements' under the more general and accurate category of 'experiences' for the following reasons:
- Sure enough, my efforts at working towards them contributed a lot, but ultimately achieving the experience of having attained the 'goal' has also been due to other factors - people and circumstances conspiring beyond my control.
- There are instances of my not having 'attained' a certain goal I have worked hard for. This is the living example of the wisdom in the saying 'Have no expectations in life - despite doing your best and working towards a goal'. If you don't work for it, you most likely will NOT achieve it or 'deserve' it if you do. If you do work for it, you are more likely to achieve it, but don't be too sure. You may have not done enough, done right. You may have done enough or more but there may be other factors beyond your control. I have come to accept that it is the game of life - 'you win some, you lose some' even if you played hard, fair and square. We just have to keep playing on.
- There are things I wished for, never put enough effort consciously and still managed to 'achieve' them due to 'fate'. I will take it happily and gratefully. I have just been fortunate enough to experience them!
Great Experiences ('Achievements' included):
- Loving parents, grandparents, extended family, friends and neighbours. They were mostly loving, encouraging and motivated us to do well in life.
- Good childhood
- Traveled and moved around a lot, even as children. Lived in places with different languages, climates, cuisines and music
- Experienced periods of plenty and shortage, peace and war
- Becoming an engineer
- Singing on stage
- Getting a job that paid enough to support oneself and even others
- Riding in an airplane
- Living in a dormitory or alone
- Learning to cook for oneself and others
- Owning, driving a car
- Learning to change a flat-tyre and some basic maintenance on a car
- Travel, study and experience living in a different country and society
- Staying in a Five-Star hotel
- Falling in love, receiving love
- Heartbreak
- Foolishness mine and others'
- Getting married
- Having children
- Going through a family break-up
- Living in a house with a backyard and lawns
- Learning to mow a lawn and gardening work
- Learning woodwork and producing something useful
- Wearing the hats of computer/electrical engineer, teacher and writer
- Composing an original piece of music
- Being published (in a magazine or a book that sells)
- Raising children
- Cook something that becomes a favourite of my children
- Being treated as family among certain friends
- Learning to play cricket and football 'properly', even if for just a little while
- Buying a house for oneself
- Having excellent neighbours and townfolk who make you feel welcome and that you want to belong
- Seeing my son overtake me in height, weight and strength
- Being around to hear my teenage son's voice break for the first time
- Getting hand-me-down clothes from my son when he has outgrown me
- Seeing my children perform on stage, win prizes and competitions
- Not being around when my father passed away, far away, a few months after I had returned from visiting him in the ICU
- Getting in touch with many of my friends of my youth and childhood after about 30 years!
- Having some people call me their 'son' and treat me as such
- Having a kid unrelated to me tell me they wished I could be their father
- Being debt-free and able to live within my means
- Getting to listen to the old, old music of various parts of India that I grew up in, that I had thought were lost to me forever, in this wonderful modern networked world of today
Where I am today:
- Very thankful and grateful for all of the above
- Thankful for my children, my mother, my siblings, my friends, my neighbours and this wonderful country and society that values life beyond just economics
- Just a little anxious for my children's futures, as perhaps inescapable for most parents, no matter how their children are or are doing
- Healthy and active
Looking to the future, with great hopes but no expectations:
- Seeing my children on their two feet as good people and productive citizens
- Seeing my children happy and able to withstand the shocks and laugh amidst the ups and downs of life
- Maintain my health and activities
- Taking a long cruise with my loved ones
- Traveling with my loved ones
- Following my dreams of helping people tell their own stories
- Achieving/Experiencing a peaceful end
What about you? Would you like to 'take stock' and share about your own life?
Copyright (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved
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