Imagine, if you will, a potter at the wheel. If (s)he wants to mould or create a thing of utility, beauty and value, it takes skill and effort. At a very fundamental level, moulding something needs forces in different and often opposing directions at the same time. At a minimum, forces are needed in two directions. This comes naturally with two hands. One can support the lump of clay while the other prods or pushes. One hand might keep the whole piece stable, from falling apart or spinning out of control, while the other nudges, pushes and shapes it gently or even sharply on occasions to get it right in the desired shape. Sometimes the two hands exchange roles, depending on the feature being shaped. At most times, one can see the two opposing hands working together. The result is often something of value, useful and sometimes a masterpiece. It is not easy, but two hands make it easier than with just one hand. With three hands, it might be still be difficult if it comes with two minds.
Now, consider for a moment - what if the potter had only one hand? Can (s)he produce a decent pot? A beautiful vase? An intricate, delicate, beautiful article? Something of value?
Theoretically. of course yes! Practically however, it would be difficult. How does the potter make up for the missing limb? (S)he could try external props. They would be clumsy, uncomfortable, not as flexible or as capable as the natural complementary limb, right? But humans can be determined, ingenious, persistent and some are known to overcome all kinds of challenges. Nevertheless, there has to be some kind of mechanism to substitute effectively for the missing second limb. One could even theoretically work with just one limb with extreme dexterity and speed. I suppose it is becoming evident that it is tricky being a one-handed potter!
Well, having and raising children is a lot like pottery - it has long been. naturally, a two-parent process. Not to say parents should try and shape everything about a child - even while raising a free-spirited child with great freedom, its psyche requires moulding at times - with support and push at the same time, with toughness and tenderness at the same time, with fairness and love at the same time. With two parents, working in coordination towards the same vision and goal, it is natural and easier. When the two parents cannot be both available to work in coordination, for whatever reason, a single parent is like a one-handed potter! Of course, children are not like clay pots, one cannot throw away one or mush it all up when it goes awry and start all over again.
Here's to all single parents who are still passionately working on their pieces!
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