"You owe your birth to your parents. But that is just a minor, obvious fact. That is not all. You owe everyone who makes you what you are today. You owe the farmer, the plants and the animals that gave you the food you have eaten every meal. They are from every corner of the world. You owe the plants and the earth the air and water you need to survive. You owe the Sun the light to sustain you. You owe the Moon the magic of a moonlit night spent with your love. You owe the tailor your clothes. You owe everyone who paved the road you walk on, who worked on every part of the car you drive. You owe everyone who wrote every word you read. You owe everyone who loved you, or cared for you, or smiled at you. Yes, you have worked and earned your way and someone owes you for what you have done, but never forget the countless people and creatures and nature that has nourished and sustained you until this very moment. You owe all that you have, to them ALL."
This quiet, non-emotional 'outburst' was from my mother recently when I was chatting to her.
Firstly, let me explain the meaning of the word 'owe' in this context. While it can be viewed, technically, as a debt un-repaid, it is also used to acknowledge or credit the source of something, even after we have paid our way.
This is different from when you 'owe' the bank some money for your mortgage or when you 'owe' someone a favour in exchange for what they have done for you. A debt does not exist anymore after you have paid it off.
You 'owe' the doctor your health (even after paying his bills). You 'owe' the farmer your physical body from the food, even after you have paid for the grocery. You owe this lifetime to your parents. You owe your feelings of misery perhaps to some ill-feeling between you and others. These are simply acknowledgement of facts. It cannot be otherwise. We could not possibly do everything for ourselves and it is only because of the contributions of millions of others that we have every single thing that we do. Often the awareness of such facts brings up a feeling of gratitude or sadness in some instances.
I was chatting to my mother over the phone and we were remembering my father. I mentioned that I felt I owed the most in life to them for giving me life in the past and my children for giving me a greater purpose in life now.
We were reflecting on my days that I spent with my parents growing up into adulthood. It is only when we are ourselves old, our parents older and sometimes not around anymore, that some of us reflect on what someone has done for us, for a long, long time.
Like most youngsters, I was rebellious, eager to grow up, become 'independent', do things 'on my own' and often on the opposite side of an argument from my parents. Looking back on those years, when chatting to my mother, I acknowledged that she and my father, who passed away a few years back, did so much for us, quietly, willingly and happily put us first and above themselves. They also took care of their elders and siblings and took on a lot more responsibilities than people of my generation do, generally speaking.They gave of everything they had without a thought to save up for themselves in their old age. Now, we try and do what we 'can' while still not quite matching up to them.
Those old days were times when they were struggling, not too poor, but certainly not well-off. Everything involved hard work, physical and mental. They had very little material possessions or property. All they had was their energy and attitude. Everyone around us was mostly in the same boat. My parents applauded our efforts and I used to mistakenly believe that they were being proud of 'my own achievements'. They simply smiled and made it a point to encourage us to keep putting in the 'effort'. It took me a long time to realise that the 'results' or 'degree of our achievements' mattered far less to my parents than our own attitude, effort and happiness.
As I expressed my understanding for the growing fear of my mother of becoming dependant on others as she gets older and more frail, she left me with another quiet, self-assured line.
"No one is truly independent in this life. That can come only when one leaves this physical body."
It explains her attitude to life in general now and why she speaks of everyone and everything with an attitude of gratitude.
Copyright (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved
No comments:
Post a Comment