His Father's Remains

His Father’s Remains

His father passed away, in his far-away homeland - India. He was not able to be there at his side in the last days and last moments. That privilege fell to his siblings, mother, family and friends who were able to gather. They all understood and accepted his absence - the price one pays for following opportunities to make a living or a better life in a different country. At one time, when he was young and left his homeland, his family focussed on being happy for his personal successes and opportunities. Now, it was time to pay the piper and they did so without rancour or grudge.

            As per his father’s wishes and a long tradition, the body was cremated without hours of his passing with minimal fuss, a simple Arya Samaj Hindu ceremony that even the least knowledgeable can perform - what with children of many generations having grown up with very little knowledge of tradition or rituals or getting put-off at the complicated ones that they barely understood.

            As per his father’s desire, the ashes were taken to be immersed in a nearby river and gently scattered along the banks. In his childhood the father had grown up downstream on the banks of the same river, played in the fields alongside and swum in it.

            Now, he realised that when he goes back to visit his family in India the next time, the absence of his father would be the most notable presence felt. He would have no grave to visit, no memorial and no remains to look at. No sign of his father! No material sign that he ever existed except in the personal family photographs. To the rest of the world, had his father ceased to exist? Was there no more meaning or value to his father’s entire life? He badly missed seeing or touching something of his father one last time.

He thought about it a little and realised that the only way he could see the ‘remains’ of his father, was what he had left behind, other than a small amount of ashes that were themselves scattered. Were the ashes really his father or just dirt that made up his father’s body?

So, what had his father left behind? He resolved to find out. Until now he had been too busy with his own life, goals, children and surroundings to think deeply about his father’s legacy.

He decided to look at people who knew his father, who were related to him and who had just encountered him. He decided to look at their feelings and thoughts regarding his father. He knew that that is what his father had really left behind and that was of some value. He knew the remains of his beloved dad were in the living world of other people and creatures. He had a foretaste of that in the eulogies that poured in through modern social media, phone calls and emails. He now understood what some people meant when they told him “Your father still lives in spirit, in you and your family and in the hearts of people that knew him.”  He realised he could now find his father nowhere, but everywhere. Nowhere in particular but everywhere that one could see a reminder or an effect of a life his father had touched.

Slowly he thought he was beginning to develop an understanding of the philosophy behind the ancient traditions and culture of his homeland. He was proud to be a son of that culture and proud to be his father’s son.

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2012

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