Past the Halfway Mark!

My father once told me that according to my horoscope I would live to be a 100 years old. No, no! My dad is not that superstitious.  It is a little trick that parents often use in India. They tell their kids the most positive things about themselves and their future, and attribute it to their horoscope, which is a socially acceptable thing. It can also be blamed for many misfortunes etc. It is a way of conveying a wish for a really long life or blessing and building confidence in the child. They remember in their worst moments that their parents had told that according to their horoscopes they were meant for greater things in life. This helps them overcome the immediate obstacles with greater confidence from within.

Well, I just went past the halfway mark recently. I have privately believed that the half-way point is more likely near the late 30s or early 40s.  I have sent cards to many of my friends and even marked my status or theirs with a drawing of a stick figure person just over a hilltop marked 40. The writing would wish them a happy birthday and cheekily show where they are in their lifespan, if it were a hill.

Now I am past the point that I could stretch it to the furthest year.

As a logical puzzle, I remember as a teenager, someone asked me – “How far can you run into a forest?”

The correct answer, of course, was – “Half way” because after that you are really running away out of the forest.

This seems a perfect analogy for life too. Once past the half-way mark, we are really on our way out of life. This realisation brings a certain perspective and detachment towards life itself. One can already see that we have passed certain milestones and paths never to be able to go back there again – being able to jump a whole flight of stairs, being able to touch your toe to your head bent backwards, roller-skating, trying a skateboard, dancing gracefully, singing tunefully without losing your breath, jumping over a fence without support, lifting all your kids above your head and spinning them around, carrying their school bags or wiping a stain or smudge from their cheeks in front of their friends...

The sense of belonging changes past the half-way point. You realise that things that you believed you owned actually own you – house, cars, stuff and gadgets. They take so much of your precious time, you start to value them differently in what remains in this lifetime.

While the physical body seems past its ‘prime’ or halfway point, that is not the case for the mind. Its ‘prime-time’ seems to be a bit delayed and comes when the body starts to fade and fail. Some of the experiences so far have really prepared it for the best times yet.

It seems like I have lived the first half of life, starting a bit clueless, making a lot of mistakes, trials and errors and now have learned to appreciate the really important stuff, and alas the body has already gone past its best times. But mentally, it seems the remaining time is full of rich possibilities and could be the best yet.

My kids were born very close to my private half-way point in life – my late 30s.

It seems like we give our kids life. But that is just physical existence. It is they who give us the real life. We use the word life to mean different things. The best meaning of life as in - the joy of living, the purpose of living and the most important thing is being alive, often comes to us from our kids themselves. It is like they have given us ‘life’ in a better sense than we have given them, all without even realising it. They will likely know this when they become parents. Kids bring out the best in us, through the worst times. It is well past the halfway mark when I think we live our best lives. Often it is inextricably linked with our kids.

In my Indian culture, on birthdays we do something for our friends and family, not the other way around. Often people perform great charities with pomp and show on that day. It is supposed to be a way to make the world happier or thankful for us having been born. It is after our passing away from this life that others celebrate our birthday, if our life has been deemed worth celebrating. I live here and we have a mix of the best of the western and eastern culture on birthdays.

My kids have told me that now I am officially old.

‘It is a big deal dad, it is a big number!” they said.

I am glad my dad and mum are around to see this day as I get past this half-way mark that father marked.

“Thanks Appa (Dad)!”

I don’t feel a day older than 49!

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2012

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