Saving Face or Saving A$$?

It is true that 'saving face' is an important part of the Asian psyche, not just in China or Japan. It is true in India too. There is a saying or lament in India that if someone does something bad enough to be ashamed, it raises the questions 'How will we show our faces to people?', or 'How can we show our faces again in society, if people come to know of this?'. There are other expressions 'We will no longer be able to show our faces to people, or people who know us.' I can well relate to such feelings expressed by the Chinese or Japanese or Arabs. 

Such shame originally applied to things worthy of being ashamed about - something that impugns one's personal integrity, honesty and truth - things that are worthy of respect. People were expected to live in a manner that when others looked at them, there was respect. It was a precious honour to be always valued, protected and most importantly, EARNED. Corruption and a decline in social values and morals has led to this sense of honour or 'face' being applied to the wrong values or issues - becoming poor, unwanted pregnancies, love or marriage across artificially made social divisions etc. Now the term 'saving face' has a negative connotation in the West, especially as applied to Asians or non-Westerners. I contend that the original motive and sense of 'saving face' has some merit always and in every society.

Now, if one thinks the Easterners are obsessed with 'saving face', lets look at the Westerners in contrast, particularly the USAnians - they seem to be obsessed with 'saving their ass'. Even in an honourable pursuits, they will endeavour to 'Kick Ass'. A great product is applauded as somethings that 'kicks butt' or a 'kick-butt product'.

Bosses in the USA are known to tell their subordinates,"Remember, If you don't perform well this quarter, your ass is grass and I am the lawnmower!"

Motivation to lead a team to victory, coach says to the team,"Come on, lets go and kick some ass."

Lawyers often tell their clients,"You need to put in this clause to cover your ass, in case someone sues you."

Scolding a poorly performing person,"I don't want to see your sorry ass, if you mess up once more."

Admiring a beautiful looking woman,"Now, I would like to get myself a piece of that ass!"

If one wants to please someone in the USA, one needs to "kiss ass".

As you might note that it is often impossible to get past the filters on websites that try to keep out foul language and people write A$$ instead of ASS. It seems appropriate that next to the rear end of people, the other obsession in the USA is with $$s or money which is also highly valued. When someone feels good or looks good, they will say "I feel like a million bucks" or "She looks like a million dollars." Note that the British would never dare tell a pretty (or even a heavily built) woman that she 'looks like a million pounds' or even that she 'looks like a thousand pounds'!

A lot of people in the other Western countries like the UK, Canada, Australia etc, idolise the USAnians and copy the same theme with a slightly different style. They might use different words (local English) to describe the same part of the anatomy. 'Arse' is more British English. 'Booty' is more Black English. There seems a subliminal erotic or sadistic focus with the rear end of the human anatomy in the Western culture.

So, we see the different two cultures in trying to preserve the 'honour' of two different ends of the human body.  It speaks volumes about what part of the anatomy holds such a grip on the minds of two different cultures.

If you text a good joke, a modern Asian teenager might reply - ROFL. An USAnian or Western teenager will however most likely ROFLMAO.  I am often disappointed to note Asian teenagers mimic the language of western obsession with the rear in trying to appear cool.I am seeing more ROFLMAO from Asians these days! What is happening? Is the East going 'backwards', pardon the pun.

So, what do you strive to protect more or focus on? The Face? or the A$$?


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 21 – Parallel Universe 1 - Srini Starts to Shine

Srini started to work in real earnest.  It was a full, busy day, each day. He was happy but tired at the end of the day, but slept well. Rohan and Anita had quietly come one day and had watched him from a distance before heading back. They decided to come one day with Molly and the twins. So they all came one day, in the afternoon. They brought snacks and drinks for Srini and Ben. They were working near some office buildings and were not too busy. It was an unexpected visit for Srini.

The twins rushed over to Srini and were all over him. They found the shoeshine kit very interesting. Ben smiled and socialized very well. The twins took to him and were fascinated by his beard. They each got a handful and used it to hold themselves on either side of his face. He was quite genial and grandfatherly. He pulled out some lollies for them. They ran around the lawns and played. It was a quick visit to see Srini at his work place, show love and support and they all headed back. Srini noticed some peeping through their office windows and watching the visit of his family.

Tarun too, had once come by and had a look. He was still mulling how to break this news to his family. He was confident in his love for Anita and sure that he would be fine. He knew however that word travelled and some in his family would find it hard to accept and might do something to offend or quietly limit their interactions. He knew some in Srini’s family would do the same. He was impressed with how Anita, Rohan and Molly handled this.

Srini and Ben did the rounds of all the spots they had staked out for themselves. There were a few under cover of awnings on the footpath, some were exposed. Ben had engineered a post to clip an umbrella over the shoeshine kits and they had one along with their kit. 

Srini was learning a lot about the psychology of people, grooming, looking good and how important it was. Shining shoes was just a part of it. They made good money with their fees and tips. They usually went back to the house, sat with a drink and totalled all their earnings and Ben divided it as per agreement. Srini realised that his presence was probably affecting the personal take of Ben to some extent and Ben could have made more if Srini were not around, next to him. But Ben never complained and Srini realised that the 20% he paid him would offset his loss somewhat. In the long run, Srini realised both would benefit from having their stalls a bit more separate from each other. There were certain mornings when it made sense to work next to each other near the courts and lawyer’s offices.

Srini quickly mastered his own routine. He too developed a following. Many Asian customers seemed to prefer him. Some got to talking with him. They were surprised that he could speak some of their languages. 
The first month of living with Ben passed. An accommodation nearby became available. It was just a short walk away from Ben’s place. Srini took it even though it was an old room that required some work and attention to spruce up. It was on the ground floor – a rare chance. 
“Always take the ground floor if you have a choice. It best for old age,” said Ben. Srini concurred.

The move was just half a day’s work. Srini and Ben worked on fixing up a few things and Srini ordered dinner in from a nearby restaurant. Rohan was busy but Anita and Tarun showed up too. They brought house-warming gifts from themselves and Rohan’s family. Dr. Fa came as well. He was very silent and seemed quietly a bit amused at Srini, while at the same time had an expression of serious thought. He was gracious and a perfect gentleman nevertheless. 

Srini occasionally ran into one of his acquaintances, most who recognised him and some who did not. Unbeknownst to him, many had heard about his ‘new profession’ and thought that he had gone off around the bend. Some came to see him from afar without coming up to him. They often slipped away without being seen or recognised. Some came up to him and tried hard to hide their surprise. Some even came to get their shoes shined. They were often torn about whether to leave him a large tip or not. Their expressions, their quick hurrying walk away from him often gave their feelings away. Srini was absolutely riveted by this psychological drama. Ben had a stoic air and Srini realized that it was something he must have taken time and effort to achieve.

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 20 - Parallel Universe 1 – Rise And Shoeshine

Srini started training and work under Ben’s supervision. He had to wake up earlier than usual to take the bus early from Rohan’s place to make it on time.  After the first week he decided to find some accommodation closer to work. He spoke to Ben about it and Ben said he would put the word out. Often people rented out shared accommodation with a private bedroom and ensuite, but a shared kitchen. Ones with shared toilet facilities tended to be cheaper.  Ben would get to know when an opening came up. Meanwhile, he offered to let Srini stay at his place, where he had an extra room that he used as a studio and storeroom. Srini offered him rent and Ben said he would deduct it from his earnings.  Srini packed up some minimum stuff and moved in that weekend with Ben. It was a practical exercise in his philosophical thinking of carrying minimal necessities and wants with him. It took him a whole two days to think what he wanted to pack and only 10 minutes to actually pack them.

Srini had been sitting next to Ben all week and watching carefully.  The new kit that Ben had ordered for Srini arrived by courier in a couple days and Srini paid for it. It was a brand new one and had castor wheels so he could push it around or lock them firmly. He had developed an idea of the tools and supplies Ben used where they were on his own kit. 

Srini applied for permits from the local council for a few locations where could set up stall. He did not realise how much regulation there was these days for any enterprise.

After a week, Ben decided it was time for Srini to set up his own stall right next to him and help him with the morning rush. A lot of Ben’s customers had seen Srini sitting next Ben the past week. Many had initially thought that he was just a good friend who was spending time with him. Some noticed him doing a few things to help Ben and practising. They had kept discreetly quiet about it. Now they were suddenly confronted with two stalls next to each other. Ben and Srini noticed that most old timers tended to line up in front of Ben rather than go to Srini. A few hesitantly came up to Srini. Some of them even hurried back to Ben. Ben tried to gently suggest to some, “My partner there is free. You can go to him for quicker service.”

Some  people that had seen Srini before or those that knew him from before were the most hesitant. They had uncomfortable expressions on their faces. Many seemed uncomfortable to go to him and instinctively went to Ben. 

Srini noted this too. He brought it up with Ben during their break.

“Why are even strangers not willing to come to me, Ben? Is there something about me that is putting them off?”

Ben laughed out loud and smiled. “Of course there is Srini! Can you guess why?”
Srini was a bit puzzled. He reckoned Ben knew the answer but  wanted him to figure it out.
“Do I look intimidating or not friendly, or not competent as a Shoeshine?” Srini asked.

“You do look friendly and inviting, but that is not the reason, my friend. I had expected this. Some will change gradually as they get to know you, but you may have to change if you want everyone to come up to you without a thought.” said Ben with a mischievous smile. 

Srini looked thoughtful.

“Srini, you look very well groomed, dressed like a gentleman, like one of your best customers after he has had his shoe shined. You look too good, clean and elegant. People hesitate to come up to you get their shoes shined. Some might think you are acting in a movie or some special thing. You look more like one of your clients.”

Then it hit Srini. He now understood why Ben had cultivated a slightly dishevelled, unkempt appearance, let his hair grow and wore an obviously worn, ragged outfit. He had started out his days as a shoeshine in his old business suit, clean shaven and well groomed. He realised that he made many of his customers and potential customers uncomfortable with his groomed, clean and tidy appearance. He knew human nature and had adapted.

Srini suddenly laughed out aloud. He took off his hat, mussed up his hair, took a bit of shoe polish and applied it on his old but cleanly laundered work jacket. He stuck his fingers in some dirt from the flowerbed nearby and wiped them on his face. He then put away his new cloth and picked up an old dirty oily rag that he had used to oil the castor wheels. He spread it on his lap.
Ben cracked up too and laughed. He came and unbuttoned a couple buttons on Srini’s jacket. Srini assumed an expression of supposed penury and misery.
“Now you look perfect! Just wait, you will have the customers rolling in. You will earn more tips than me!” cackled Ben.

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 19 – Parallel Universe 1 – Shoeshine: Rain or Sunshine

Srini went to see Ben in a couple of days. He dressed in an old comfortable set of clothes that he normally used to work in his old garage on winter days. He had on a hat with a protective visor. Rohan, Molly, Anita and the twins had all waved him goodbye as he left home. They had fed him breakfast and packed him a lunch, drink and some snacks, with extra to share with Ben. Srini decided to take the public transport bus.

Ben was sitting near Srini’s favourite bench and he had a large sized covered package next to him. He saw Srini approach and waved to him silently as he was working on a customer’s shoe. Srini walked up to him and sat down after laying down an old towel he had brought along. He had realised, he needed to get something like a comfortable mat to sit down on and not get his seat wet or cold or dirty from the ground. Ben smiled and carried on. Srini sat next to him and watched. After the customer had paid and walked away, Ben turned towards Srini.

“Hello Srini! Good thinking, but look at what is under the cover,” he said looking at the towel and pointing towards the large covered package he had brought. Srini  gently lifted one end of the cover and he saw a brand new, well set up shoeshine kit. It had a little rolled mat of some thick foam and fabric lining nicely tucked underneath.

“Use that mat, it is waterproof and washable,” said Ben.

“Where did you get this from and how much did it cost,” asked Srini.

“Well I ordered a new one, but I had a spare set always, from when I started. I always had another set ready to go, if something should happen to the one I am using. You can have this. We can use the new one as the emergency spare. You need not pay me now, but can pay when we pick up the new kit in a couple more days. It is being assembled the way I ordered it for you,” said Ben.

“Thanks Ben!” said Srini gratefully.

Srini wondered how Ben had carried both his kits from wherever he lived and where he parked his car if he drove one and where he lived. He looked forward to solving many of the mysteries about Ben.

“Srini, I want you to simply sit down and watch me for a couple of days. I might give you something to practice on. Open the kit and have a good look at it. Get familiar with all the things in it. Ask questions .The toilets, if you want to use them are in that building, around the corner. We have permission to use them,” said Ben pointing to the side of a building close to them, “If you feel sick or unwell or hurt and want to lie down quietly, there is a janitor’s closet next to the toilets. I have the key to the room. There is a spare mattress on the floor. You can use it, if you need. Bring your own sheets and a blanket. Keep a change of clothes and towel in a bag, in one of the drawers marked with my name on it. I occasionally have an afternoon nap there. You can too if you want. There is also a shelf there for me to keep my kit. I don’t have to take it home everyday.  You can keep your kit there too. We pay the Sid, the janitor, a small fee and he will make space for yours too. He is very organised.”

Ben was thorough in his introductions. He was also gentle and gradual in giving Srini all the necessary information.

“What days and hours do you want me to work, Ben. What else do I need to know?”

“I have a policy Srini – Shoeshine: Rain or Sunshine.  In fact, it is after rain that more people come to shine their shoes. Mornings are busy usually. Afternoon customers are usually salesmen or job candidates. You will see a lot of them. The courts and financial businesses are our best customers.

Usually I work from 8 am until 3 pm, near the offices. After that there is good business near the fancy restaurants in the evenings, from 6pm until 8pm. I work only on weekends there by myself, when I can and feel like it, but if you are willing to work weekdays, we can make some good extra money. There are a couple of bowling alleys and golf courses nearby that I have an understanding with. We can expand our market with the two of us. We have some competition already. We live and let live. We can always stake out a new area or building where no one else works within sight. You are my partner, so we can work next to each other.

Not often, but occasionally, people will want you to help fix or repair their shoes. They are too busy to find a cobbler themselves. If they know you, they will ask you. I provide that service too. I take them to a friend who has a shop nearby and he does the work and I pay him. I charge a small fee as my commission on both sides,” answered Ben.

Srini sat next to Ben all day. He shared his lunch and snacks. Ben was appreciative and shared his food with Srini. He asked about  Srini’s family and they chatted.

Srini, noted something he had not observed before. There was a stack of breath mints on one side of the shoeshine kit. He looked at Ben quizzically.

“Never ask a customer if they want to buy breath mints. Just display it prominently.  Let them ask for it themselves. If they are meeting someone important and want to impress them, they will remember to shine their shoes, but usually remember breath mints only at the last moment,” said Ben smiling.

It turned out that Ben had a car that he parked mostly at his home, which was a small flat he had rented in a building nearby.  He had a trolley that folded down and he used it to carry heavy items. He sometimes locked it and used that as a surface to sit on with a mat on top. He had brought it today and put it away.

During a break, Ben showed Srini around the janitor’s closet. It was a largish room with a bed at one end and even a TV and radio.

Srini went back early evening after a full day with Ben. He took the bus back to Rohan’s house. As he settled into the couch, he realised his back was stiff and sore from all that sitting on the ground. Before he realised, he dozed off. He woke up when Molly came in with the kids she picked up on her way back from work. She saw him sleepily get up and the twins ran up to him. He smelled of shoe polish. Molly did not mention it.

“Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?” she asked Srini, exactly at the same moment when he asked her the same question.

“You look tired, just rest. I’ll bring your tea shortly,” she said and got busy after dropping off her bags in the living room, in a corner.

Srini realised that she must be tired after her day too. Usually, he used to make her a drink and serve some snack when she came home, but today he was more tired than usual. He lay back and called the twins over. They clambered on to the couch and then onto him.

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 18 - Parallel Universe 1 – A Family Meeting

Srini called Anita and Rohan to tell them that he wanted a family meeting after dinner that evening. He asked Anita to bring Tarun along, if possible.
It was an early good dinner that evening  at Rohan’s place. Once it was over and the twins were put to bed, Molly and Rohan joined the rest in the living room where Srini, Anita and Tarun were playing a board game, sipping some wine.

All eyes turned towards Srini as he set down his wine glass. He saw his children clasp the hands of their partners and move a little closer to them. From their expressions, it was obvious to him that there must have been some talk about his situation amongst them and no one wanted to raise the topic for fear of it perhaps hurting his feelings or not coming out right. He was now more confident about himself and felt it was right that he decided to bring it out all in the open with some plan already in mind.

For the first time ever in his life, Srini, raised his wine glass with a slight smile on his face and said aloud a toast, “Here’s to my long life!”
Instinctively, everyone else followed even before the import of the message hit them.

Srini chuckled gently, “Who would have thought! I have made it so far in this condition.”

His children and Molly teared up a bit, but smiled happily.
“Dad! We love you.”
“Dad, we are blessed, we are lucky.”
“I hope Dr. Fa was mistaken. I am sure he hopes too.”

They all came to huddle and hug Srini. Tarun sat back, keenly observing and with sympathy in his eyes.

“Kids! I don’t know exactly what the future will be like, but as Fa told me, somethings cannot be accurately predicted like a timeline. Somethings are inevitable however. I am glad for an extra bonus of time with some good health. I don’t know how long this will last, but I also need to be prepared for it to end anytime, quickly.
I know all of you want me to live long. I am sure you will understand the implications of that. I now WANT to do something for myself, by myself. I hope you will all understand me. That is the best support I can ask for.”

“Dad! We have been thinking too. You have given away your money too soon. We can manage with less and you have already given us a lot. Please allow us to support you financially. You can move in with me or rent a place of your own nearby if you want to. We want to be around and close to you,” Anita poured out her heart. All others looked to her and seemed to be offering her encouragement. It looked like she was speaking for all of them.

“I know, I know! You kids would do anything for me. I also want to be there for you. However, I want to move out to give some time for Molly’s parents to come and stay here and spend time with the twins. You have all been wonderful in not bringing it up. I appreciate your thoughts,” Srini said. He carefully avoided saying anything directly about staying with Anita. He wanted her and Tarun to have a chance to spend time together when they felt like. He decided to let his thoughts be known as an implication of the announcement he was about to make.

“I have found a job and a partner in business that I would very much like to work with. It is the ideal type of job considering my situation. I cannot be a reliable worker in my old profession as an engineer or my old business. However, fate led me to something that I really want to give a shot at. I have worn many hats in my lifetime so far and I want to try this one as well,” said Srini with a smile.

“What is it, Dad? Of course, we would like to support you in anything you want,” Rohan spoke with feeling.

Srini looked around at the eager faces.
“I want to work with my friend Ben, who sits in the park outside Dr. Fa’s office building. I want to have my own shoeshine stand,” said Srini with a smile.

For a second or two, Srini saw stunned expressions and then puzzled looks. Anita and Rohan looked at their partners first and then at each other. They were the first to regain their composures. Tarun had a controlled but bemused expression. He quickly recovered and it became a serious one as he looked around at the others. Then he too turned towards Srini.

“You mean you want to shine shoes? Like Ben?” asked Molly lovingly.

“Yes,” replied Srini, “It is an ideal kind of work for me now. It is what I can do, as long as I can do it. I can quit or leave anytime and it will not impact anyone much. I will be working with Ben, my good friend who I want to get to know a bit better. Apparently, there is enough money in it that he supports himself. I will still be around and close to all of you. It is mostly outdoors – something I always wanted to do. It does not appear stressful. Ben has agreed to train me and I will be working with him and for him. I trust him to do the right thing and he is very smart and fun to be around.”

Anita and Rohan, who knew Srini best, realised that this ability to make his own decisions and choose a path, meant a lot to him. They fully realised that some friends and family might consider it unusual and may be embarrassed or shocked. However, it was Srini and his feelings that were most important to them. So long as he was OK, safe and able to do it with their support, they were fine.

“Have you thought this through?” Molly asked.

“Yes dear!” replied Srini softly.

“Alright then Dad, but please allow us to help you get started and settled until you start making enough to support yourself well,” Anita and Rohan both seemed on the same page.

Srini relaxed as he heard this. Knowing that his children wanted to support him and were there if needed was enough for him. He knew he could ask for no more from fate and was blessed.

“I just met Ben and we agreed upon this today. I will be working out the details with him soon. I am glad to have your support. I can deal with anything or anyone else easily now,” said Srini sounding relieved. He gave them all each a hug. Tarun was quiet and seemed to be absorbing the ways of this new family that he was getting to be a part of.
For the rest of the evening, Srini tactfully steered the conversation towards Molly’s job, Tarun’s life so that everyone got to a bit more about them. He took the focus away from himself.

Photos credit and Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 17- Parallel Universe 1 – A Plan For A Short Life

It occurred to Srini that he was looking forward to what could be called an unexpected, short lifetime again. He was again about to start with almost nothing, in an adult body with all his memories from the ‘previous’ life intact. He did not want to upset the financial plans and situation of his children again in a major way. He would never feel like asking for some of his money back that he had given away or arranged to be given away to charities. He still had enough to live his old lifestyle for another few months and if he did so, would soon be a virtual pauper. He did not fear the situation. He wanted to find some work. If he wanted to earn doing the kind of work he had been doing before, he would have very little time left to spare for his family. It was both mentally and physically taxing – his job as a consultant engineer in business.  He could not scale it down to the few hours that he wanted to work or be able to walk away from it if his health should start to fail. People might give him a job because they knew him, but it would be an act of charity towards him and they would not get their money’s worth. He did not want to be in that position. He thought about what he wanted to do. He decided to call a meeting with his children, bring the issue out in the open, discuss and lay out his plans. But first he wanted to explore possibilities and get a realistic idea of what his future health might be like.

He went over to Dr. Fa’s the next day to discuss the possibilities of how his health might be under different scenarios. Dr. Fa’s assessment confirmed his fears that he might not be able to work reliably on a job, in his old line of work and still spare time enough for his family.  On the way back, he stopped by the park bench next to Ben. Ben was busy with a customer and nodded his “Hello”.  Srini waited for Ben to finish. The customer paid him and walked away thanking him with a wave of goodbye.

As Ben was about to move towards Srini, Srini pre-empted him. He got up, went over and sat next to Ben.

Ben’s eye brow arched and he smiled slightly. 
“What’s the matter, my friend? You want to get into this business too? You want to compete or cooperate?”

Srini was stunned at the perspicacity of the man. Just at that moment, as he sat down next to his friend, a random wild thought had crossed Srini’s mind. He wondered if he might be able to support himself with a job like Ben’s. He realised that as far as he knew, Ben did support himself with this very job. If he could do it, so could Srini. Srini was wise enough not to ask the question.
“Ben, I would like to work with you and for you, if you don’t mind,” said Srini quietly.

Ben looked thoughtful, just for a couple of seconds.
“OK, then. That is better for me. I’ll tell you the terms.  You can get a kit like mine and I’ll tell you where you can sit on different days. You pay me 20% of your takes. No competition, but we cooperate. We will discuss and arrive at many discussions jointly, but if push comes to shove, I am the boss and my decision will prevail. Agreed?”
The speed, thoroughness and quiet confidence with which Ben came to the point quickly made Srini realise how smart this man was. He must have  thought about such possibilities and arrangements long before and was ready with a well thought out offer and plan. He knew Ben was brilliant at anything he did. He must have been a great sharebroker and financier in his days. He still carried the same sharp mind.

“Agreed,” said Srini. Ben extended his hand and Srini shook it. The deal was sealed.

It surprised Srini how quickly he had agreed to this without even consulting his family or thinking long by himself. It somehow felt right in his soul.

“I’ll arrange to get you another kit and train you for a couple of weeks. You can sit next to me here and in other spots that I work at. Can you come by in a couple of days?”

“Sure,” said Srini.

They then chatted about life in general, mostly about Srini’s. Ben did not share much about his. Srini realised he did not know exactly where Ben lived, what family he had and what his life was like. He wanted to get to know more about him.

As he walked home that evening, he decided to call a family meeting and announce his decision to work with Ben.

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved 

The Last Penny - Chapter 16 – Parallel Universe 1 – The Waiting Game Begins

Another couple of months passed quietly and swiftly with Srini living with his son Rohan’s family. Srini went to meet Dr. Fa and returned from the last visit with a clean bill of health.

“I will be most happy to have been mistaken or wrong, Srini. Make the most of what you have,” Dr. Fa had said with a smile. He knew that it might just be a matter of a few more months before the signs started to appear and that Srini might get worse, but he could not entirely rule of the possibility of a much longer period of good health for Srini. He was very happy at the prospect of having his friend around for a while longer. Srini left his office saying goodbye with a hug.

Srini stopped by to chat with Ben on his way back home. Ben enquired about Srini’s state and Srini told him. With a thoughtful expression, Ben attended to him. As Srini would have expected, he was the most direct, straightforward and did not hesitate to ask the most awkward or relevant question. He was somehow different from the rest, who often pussyfooted around sensitive issues.

“So Srini, what do you plan to do if you don’t die soon as you expected? Are you well prepared to live much longer?” asked Ben, in a matter-of-fact manner.

“I don’t exactly have a plan for this situation. I had planned to go early. I suppose I should give it serious thought. I suppose I should look for a job,” replied Srini, thoughtfully.

“OK, what is it that you want to do? Go back to your old job? Or do something new?” asked Ben.

“Well, I suppose I cannot be too choosy, I will need the money. I want to be near the children, around here if possible. It would be something that I can drop at short notice or without notice if the situation should change,” replied Srini thoughtfully.

“Ah, I see. That makes sense,” said Ben.

Srini noted that Ben seemed to accept his situation and plan without question, much as he seemed to accept his own. He was not the one to raise issues about how much Srini had saved, whether his family would help him or not, or suggest anything as to what Srini could or should expect from his own children or family to take care of him in old age or this situation.  Srini started to think about what his children, family or others would say. He decided to find out.  He thanked Ben, paid him and left.

That evening he had a good long chat with his family and siblings back in India. He asked them to hold off their visit to be with him, until later when his health would start to fail. Even before he could finish describing his situation, once they heard his health was not leading him to imminent death, they all expressed great joy and quickly started to question him intensely. There were suggestions (mostly disguised commands) asking Srini to permanently stay with Rohan until the end.

“It is our tradition, right and privilege to spend the final years in our own son/child’s house and die there. Few can make it so, these days, Srini! Thank God for your fate!”

“Don’t worry, I know you have given away all your money expecting to die soon, but you can ask your children back for some of it, even if you want to live somewhere by yourself. They owe it to you!”

“I know your children, they will do the right thingand take care of you. Just enjoy, it is your bonus time. A new bonus upon the old bonus time you had until now.”

Srini was quiet and reflective for the next few days.

Unbeknownst to him, there were already muted and discreet discussions between Rohan, Molly and Anita, out of Srini’s earshot. They were sensitive and careful about inadvertently hurting his feelings. They were all happy that he seemed to be remaining healthy and if anything, getting stronger physically. They were wondering and planning how to go about planning Srini’s future and their roles in it.

The game of waiting for Srini’s death had begun.


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2015
All rights reserved