Mid- Life Taking Stock

Sitting down, now past the 'middle point' of even an unreasonably generous, long expected lifetime, I'm pausing. I am looking back at life, looking at where I am now and looking ahead.  It seems a good time to 'take stock' as they say - listing one's  past experiences, a look at the current state and hopes for the future.

I choose to consider my 'achievements' under the more general and accurate category of 'experiences' for the following reasons:

- Sure enough, my efforts at working towards them contributed a lot, but ultimately achieving the experience of having attained the 'goal' has also been due to other factors - people and circumstances conspiring beyond my control.

- There are instances of my not having 'attained' a certain goal I have worked hard for. This is the living example of the wisdom in the saying 'Have no expectations in life - despite doing your best and working towards a goal'. If you don't work for it, you most likely will NOT achieve it or 'deserve' it if you do. If you do work for it, you are more likely to achieve it, but don't be too sure. You may have not done enough, done right. You may have done enough or more but there may be other factors beyond your control. I have come to accept that it is the game of life - 'you win some, you lose some' even if you played hard, fair and square. We just have to keep playing on.

- There are things I wished for, never put enough effort consciously and still managed to 'achieve' them due to 'fate'. I will take it happily and gratefully. I have just been fortunate enough to experience them!

Great Experiences ('Achievements' included):
- Loving parents, grandparents, extended family, friends and neighbours. They were mostly loving, encouraging and motivated us to do well in life.
- Good childhood
- Traveled and moved around a lot, even as children. Lived in places with different languages, climates, cuisines and music
- Experienced periods of plenty and shortage, peace and war
- Becoming an engineer
- Singing on stage
- Getting a job that paid enough to support oneself and even others
- Riding in an airplane
- Living in a dormitory or alone
- Learning to cook for oneself and others
- Owning, driving a car
- Learning to change a flat-tyre and some basic maintenance on a car
- Travel, study and experience living in a different country and society
- Staying in a Five-Star hotel
- Falling in love, receiving love
- Heartbreak
- Foolishness mine and others'
- Getting married
- Having children
- Going through a family break-up
- Living in a house with a backyard and lawns
- Learning to mow a lawn and gardening work
- Learning woodwork and producing something useful
- Wearing the hats of computer/electrical engineer, teacher and writer
- Composing an original piece of music
- Being published (in a magazine or a book that sells)
- Raising children
- Cook something that becomes a favourite of my children
- Being treated as family among certain friends
- Learning to play cricket and football 'properly', even if for just a little while
- Buying a house for oneself
- Having excellent neighbours and townfolk who make you feel welcome and that you want to belong
- Seeing my son overtake me in height, weight and strength
- Being around to hear my teenage son's voice break for the first time
- Getting hand-me-down clothes from my son when he has outgrown me
- Seeing my children perform on stage, win prizes and competitions
- Not being around when my father passed away, far away, a few months after I had returned from visiting him in the ICU
- Getting in touch with many of my friends of my youth and childhood after about 30 years!
- Having some people call me their 'son' and treat me as such
- Having a kid unrelated to me tell me they wished I could be their father
- Being debt-free and able to live within my means
- Getting to listen to the old, old music of various parts of India that I grew up in, that I had thought were lost to me forever, in this wonderful modern networked world of today

Where I am today:

- Very thankful and grateful for all of the above
- Thankful for my children, my mother, my siblings, my friends, my neighbours and this wonderful country and society that values life beyond just economics
- Just a little anxious for my children's futures, as perhaps inescapable for most parents, no matter how their children are or are doing
- Healthy and active


Looking to the future, with great hopes but no expectations:

- Seeing my children on their two feet as good people and productive citizens
- Seeing my children happy and able to withstand the shocks and laugh amidst the ups and downs of life
- Maintain my health and activities
- Taking a long cruise with my loved ones
- Traveling with my loved ones
- Following my dreams of helping people tell their own stories
- Achieving/Experiencing a peaceful end


What about you? Would you like to 'take stock' and share about your own life?


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved 

Ordinary or Extraordinary?

When you fail at something ordinary,  consider the possibility that you were meant to succeed at something extraordinary.

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved 

Traditional Neighbourliness - Spare an Onion?

Traditional Neighbourliness - Spare an Onion? 

My neighbours from India just made my day. They came asking if I could spare some onions as they had run out of them while cooking.  It brought back such memories of growing up in India when people felt free to ask for such 'loans' which of course would be repaid. I feel so good that I thanked them from the bottom of my heart. 

The other day I ran out of potatoes and considered asking them next door as I was in the middle of cooking. My kids thought it was strange and 'weird' and 'Indian' having grown up here all their life.  They wanted me to drive immediately to the mall as I have usually done  here. The neighbours were not home and my kids were thankful . 

Today apparently the neighbour's kids also felt the same when the parent decided to give it a try to show them how it is done. The kids (mine and theirs) were very surprised at my joyous response! :-)


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved 

Satan, Saint and Our Children

Only humans can be truly evil in this world. 

The Satan and the Saint are both born in the minds of sweet little adorable children. They sneak into their souls often unnoticed.
We all bear the consequences of how they turn out. 
That is why we all need to watch out for all our children. They are truly all, OUR children. 


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved 

The Often Unsaid Rules to Happiness and Success in Life

1. Apologize for your mistakes before being asked to. The difference of impact of an apology one second before and after being asked is enormous.

2. Know when to give up some of your rights voluntarily before being forced to. It is not possible, nor is it in your best interests, to exercise every single legitimate or legal right everytime. It is usually a long time before you can enjoy most of your legitimate or legal rights in life if at all. Strangely enough, the sooner you learn to happily live without some of your rights, the sooner you are likely to achieve them.

3. Giving up one's legitimate rights to be angry over some issue, sometimes presents an opportunity to get something more valuable in their place - goodwill and love.
Sometimes it is the opposite, failure to get angry or upset and assert your right is a big mistake. Learn to know when to assert your anger and when not to.

4. There are moments to insist on exercising one's rights over a small issue and easily to give up on big ones. This makes it possible to achieve goals that are bigger than the current issue - big or small.

5. The idea of 'big' or 'small' , 'more important' and 'less important'  can vary with people and time. Be aware of that.

6. People judge and classify others instinctively as a matter of habit (there is even a category 'not classifiable yet') and deal differently with different people under identical circumstances. Try and be aware of how you may be classified in the mind of anyone you deal with. It is a waste of time trying to fight this phenomenon as 'right or wrong'.  Sure, speak out against it, on occasion, but nevertheless learn to deal with it.

7. While legal positions are a fall-back for the worst case scenario, try to make relationships work at a positive level beyond that. Else, you are always on the precipice of a negative abyss.

8. The feasible path to a desired goal in human terms is rarely a straight line. You may have to travel in a different direction, even in the opposite direction for a while.

9. It is impossible to get all the above exactly right in practice. Keep trying though.

10. If you are doing your best (make sure it IS the best you can do), then derive some happiness from it every time, every day. The end results may not make you happy, but the journey will.


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved 

How Far Away You Are

As far as it matters
As far away as you are
You might as well be on the moon
Or near a distant star

Even now, somehow
From the other side of the world
Your picture's seen
Your voice is heard

Yet you I cannot hold
But if the truth be told
You are very near
To me my dear

For you live in my thoughts
And in my heart
My dear, love you lots
We're never apart

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved 

For true monsters (and some clowns) it is the human face that is their mask.

For true monsters (and some clowns) it is the human face that is their mask.


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved 

The Best of Americans - Where are the heroes and leaders?

The current political news from the USA brings to mind the above question.

Every country and society has all kinds of people - good and bad, strong and weak, rich and poor, clever and foolish. It is the relative distribution of these characteristics that varies a little bit among them, but not as much as we might be led to believe from the media. However, cultural acceptance of certain traits or qualities as 'desirable' or 'undesirable' can vary markedly between different countries or societies. This gives rise to certain stereotypes which can certainly represent a significant number of people who are considered as typically representing the 'best' in that society.

Here is my take on 'the best of Americans' - the citizens of the USA, as defined in their own local perceptions and traditions, based on my observations.

Freedom loving. Will accept nothing less than the maximum possible freedom to pursue happiness in life in their own way. Of course, it is accepted that it is done without trampling on the rights of someone else to do the same.

Fearless, loud and clear: Totally fearless in speaking out their mind. While they are sensitive to others' feelings as well, they will not try to be politically correct at the expense of the truth that they need to say. There is a certain, unmistakable energy and power to their speech.

Brave: Even if there is a danger and certainty of opposition and painful consequences, they will say what they believe. They will expect to face resistance and overcome it.

They will not be cowed down by intimidation, threats or fear of 'punitive consequences'.

Willingness to fight for what they believe is their right or against being tyrannized or subjugated: They cannot tolerate living a life of being enslaved.

An associated charming quality is that they respect others who also exhibit these qualities. There is something to the slogan - 'Land of the Free and Home of the Brave.' They do not, at heart, respect those who are not willing to fight for what they believe is right or fair, to face resistance, danger and take risks.

"Well, if you are not willing to fight for your rights, you likely do not deserve them!" seems to be their attitude, summed up beautifully in the saying "Freedom isn't Free".

Honest and straightforward: There is a raw honesty in their words and deeds. They may say things cryptically, but do so clearly, in an unmistakable manner. There is no 'saying one thing, meaning another and doing something else'. They will not say different things to different people to please everyone, only to deceive most.

Acceptance of imperfection in humans: An imperfect person or someone who has made mistakes, made amends and moved on, gets another chance to succeed and aim for any high goal. Some of the top achievers in the USA are examples of such people.

Intelligent: There is a simple, penetrative intelligence that can always keep the most important and significant issues in focus. They get to the point directly, ask or pose the most appropriate questions. They are not awed or side-tracked by their adversaries' bullshit or high achievements in unrelated issues or the view of the majority in a crowd. They are confident in themselves as individuals.

Irreverent and Humorous: The best Americans are not impressed by titles - ranks, titles, wealth or intellectual pretensions. Their humour is quite irreverent and permeates most social interactions.

Desire to be The Best and The Biggest: There is a great drive from within to always be the best or get the best of everything the world. There is a recognition that all the best in the world cannot be only from their own country. Hence, there is a humility and welcoming attitude to the best from anywhere else in the world, to appreciate and learn from the best, even from their adversaries. This is the real secret to their being able to absorb a lot of the best talents from around the world.

Hardworking, resilient from failures and working smart: The best of the Americans can patiently work their own way up, without resenting someone else who has honestly succeeded or done very well, ahead of themselves. They try to learn and work smart themselves. They take credit and blame individually in many situations.

In some other cultures, some of these traits will not be looked upon as 'desirable' or worthy of a 'role model'. In many Asian cultures, speaking loudly, not showing unconditional reverence to age, rank, or taking individual credit are not qualities they associate with their local notion of the best among themselves.

Of course, it is also true that in today's world, many of our traditional heroes would not stand a chance of being accepted, revered or become heroes in a modern, developed country. As some often point out, if a Jesus, or Gandhi were alive today going about doing what they were reputedly did, they would not make such a public impact in our modern society. They would probably have been locked up in some kind of state facility!!

We all like the general notion of these heroes, but modern society and culture in developed countries cannot easily accept the reality of people with such qualities. We, predominantly, prefer people and heroes who do not 'rock the boat' of our thinking -challenge us to change or speak their minds. Society seems to want people who will tell them comforting lies that we know to be so. It is interesting to watch the current political climate and wonder -

Where/Who are the best of American heroes and leaders? Will people even recognize one if they saw them on the street or heard them on TV?

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved 

Missing-You Song

Darling, Sweetheart, My Love, Dear
Without you, it is lonely here,
How I wish that you were near,
Darling, Sweetheart, My Love, Dear

Every rain-drop sparks a fire
Within me of a sweet desire
For a taste of all your charms
And to hold you tightly in my arms

Miss you my honeybunch, I miss your soft touch
Miss you my moonbeam, I miss you very much

Heartbeat, Sunshine, Honey, My dear
How I wish that you were here
Oh, how much I miss you now
Heartbeat, Sunshine, Honey, My love

Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved 

The Elements And Romance - Kaash Mein Hota

Kaash Mai Hota...

Kaash mai hota pavan
Teri zulfon ko chhedta
Tere daaman mein khelta
Tere saanson se mil jaata
Kaash, mai hota pavan

Kaash mai hota baarish
Tere gaalon par barasta
Tere palkon par moti ban sajtha
Tere hoton se mai peeta
Kaash, mai hota baarish

Kaash mai hota suraj
Sardiyon ke din tere kandhe par
Mein naram-garam haat rakhta
Din bhar tere aangan ko roshan karta
Kaash, mai hota suraj

Kaash mai hota woh zameen, jis par tum khadi ho
Tujhe har waqt mein sambhal paata
Tu hamesha mere dil par hoti
Jab tum chalti mera dil dhadakta
Kaash, mai hota woh zameen

 
English Translation:

I wish I were...

I wish I were the wind
I would tease your tresses
I would play at your side
I would mingle with your breath
O, I wish I were the wind

I wish I were the rain
I would splash on your cheeks
I would bejewel your eyelashes
I would drink from your lips
O, I wish I were the rain

I wish I were the sun
On winter days, upon your shoulders
I would lay a warm soft hand
All day I would light up your yard
O, I wish I were the sun

I wish I were the ground that you stand upon
I could hold you every moment
You would always be on my heart
And with every step you take my heart would beat
O, I wish I were the ground

Copyright (c) Kannan Naryanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved

Guidelines for debating or posting on social media

Guidelines for posting/debating on social media, or sharing one's views just about anywhere else:

If a reasonable, intelligent, thinking, fair-minded person with a little human compassion and decency is not likely offended or hurt by our statement, it is OK, else it is not OK.

It does not matter if that person is from Europe or USA or Canada or Mexico or Pakistan or Norway or India or Australia or Japan or Tanzania or Morocco or Australia.

One should care more about the feelings and opinions of an intelligent, reasonable, decent human being from anywhere on the planet than those of a bigoted, unthinking, stupid compatriot, just because we are unfortunate to have them as our own fellow citizens or they are of the same race or religion or whatever.


Sound fair and reasonable?

Note: No country, race, religion or nationality has exclusive patent and rights to either the best and brightest humans or the dumbest and worst ones. All kinds are found everywhere.


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2016
All rights reserved