April _____

A long time, about 26 years, ago, in central India there lived a young man in his early twenties called Srinivas. He was a single ‘bachelor’ working on his first job as an engineer. While his own family lived in a distant city, he had moved to this city for a job after his own heart. He had rented a ‘portion’ – a typical Indian term for a ‘portion-of-the-house’. Usually, it was literally a portion of the house that had been set aside by some clever design of doors, entrances and sealing of doors and windows between rooms to create a separate liveable area for a tenant.

It was always difficult for a young, single man to rent a house in a strange new city in those days. Landlords were wary and asked all kinds of intrusive questions and rarely did anyone rent to someone without good references or after satisfying themselves of the character of the potential tenant.  They did not want noisy or party animals from somewhere far that they could not complain to their family about, if things were turning bad. Landlords with ‘eligible’ or potentially eligible girls were particularly cautious and conservative and kept clear of eligible or potentially eligible bachelors as tenants! And a single, unmarried, employed young man was definitely in the danger category! Married men with spouses and a couple of kids were considered the ideal tenants in such situations.

Srinivas felt he had been lucky to find this portion to rent - after a year of living in short-term, temporary accommodations. He was fortunate to be offered the portion that one of his colleagues at work was vacating when he moved abroad. The house had two portions for rent, each with its own kitchen and bath facilities.  The other portion for rent was occupied by another of his work colleagues. The main house was occupied by the owner’s family - a middle-aged couple with three daughters who still lived with them and their jet black pet dog - Ricky. The oldest of the daughters was about Srinivas’ own age and the youngest still in high school. They had two other daughters who were older and had moved away to families of their own after being married.  Srinivas’ colleagues sometimes jokingly, but respectfully and affectionately referred to the landlord as the father of ‘a-fist-full of daughters’. He was a well-built and quiet spoken man, this father! Srinivas’ friends jokingly told him to beware – that if he misbehaved, The Fist of the one with the-fist-full-of-daughters would strike!

Apparently, the decent, model behaviour of the previous tenants from the same company and their references were enough to allay the concerns of the parents to a large extent. Perhaps, one look at Srinivas, a dark, nerdish, young man of a slight frame, in large, thick glasses and ill-fitting, un-pressed clothes who seemed to have no idea of grooming to look presentable or to impress women lessened their concerns even further. He seemed to present no threat to the daughters when interviewed by the landlady, the mother!

She was a lovely lady, about as old as his own mother. She was the ‘manager’ and dealt with most things around the house as the father worked long hours away. She had an energetic, lively and humorous nature. She seemed perpetually busy, attending to something that needed to be done. She was frank, forthright and spelt out the terms upfront in a firm but kind manner.

She looked at him and the other tenants as she would her own sons if she had had sons. He often sensed in her dealings with him that she perhaps felt sorry for him - for his distance from his own mother and family. She often performed little random acts of utter kindness that somehow made up a little for acts of motherly love he missed from his own mother. She greeted him with a smile when he came home, brought him a cup of tea or coffee or snack occasionally when he arrived tired from work. She brought him servings of food and treats on special occasions. She was like a mother, only less nosy and probing into the details of his life.

Just the kindness, trust and acceptance given out by this landlady would make anyone with a conscience want to live up to her expectations and be deserving of her trust. Now, looking back on those years, he realised that, even in a ‘dangerous’ world, people would hesitate to betray the trust of a person such as his landlady. She brought out the best in people. Perhaps that was the secret to living safely under any circumstance!

Anyway, the first year that he was there, Srinivas went about his work and usually came home late, went to sleep, woke up early and headed off to work. He did not spend much time home. His portion of the house was separated from the landlord’s portion by a locked and sealed door between two rooms. The landlords were likely happy with the fact that very little could be seen or heard from his side. He did not play music or a radio aloud. He rarely was home during the day even on weekends or holidays, spending time at work or with friends. He almost never had company or friends visit him. It seemed that he rarely noticed anything around him when he was around. He seemed preoccupied with something in his mind and one wondered if he saw things right in front of him or under his nose.

He spoke comfortably to the landlady and always was happy to see her. She made him feel comfortable enough to open up and share with her his love of music, and old Tamil songs that his mother knew. He was amazed that this landlady too shared a fondness for the very same songs. She was an amazing character – this landlady, she could speak over six languages, five of them fluently. She could sing in many languages.

The young man made sort of a friendship with the dog - Ricky, who greeted him happily and regularly upon arrival. Srinivas would bring some tidbits for him and talk to him. However, as typical of many who grow up in India, he would try and avoid touching or patting the dog.  He had not grown up with pets in his house. He carried the fear of animals and impressions of stray dogs and horror stories he had heard of rabies etc. Even if he liked a well maintained house dog, he could not bring himself to be physically in contact with it. It was something deep in him. He initially tried to stop the dog from licking him, but could not. They gradually came to an arrangement where he let the dog lick either the back of his hand or his leg, just once and then told him to stop and back off. It seemed to work. Don’t get me wrong, he liked the dog alright, but this was as far as he had managed to come along in his life.

On days that Srinivas was feeling jolly, the family of the landlady would hear him singing softly, or humming or even talking to Ricky, as if to a friend. Ricky liked to spend time with him when he was home. He looked forward to some scraps of food or tidbits that he seemed to get, something that did not upset his regular feeds. Sometimes Ricky and Srinivas would play with little green coconuts that fell off the tree in front of his doorstep.

The girls in the house probably noted more about Srinivas than he did about them for the first year of his stay.  The one thing that he noted was that there was probably a picture of a deity and a ‘pooja’ (prayer) area in the room bordering his bedroom which also doubled as the living room during the day. Sounds carried really well both ways since the door between was not airtight. He could often hear the radio playing on the other side, many of his favourite songs that he could sing along to. He could hear people talking on the other side. He could sometimes make out conversations often in Tulu, a language he did not understand and some words in Hindi, Telugu or English that he did understand. He did not pay attention to them or wish to listen to them. Such was the way of life. People did not make too much effort at privacy or quiet and they mostly had nothing to hide.

Most mornings, Srinivas would, at a precise time, hear the oldest daughter say a prayer out loud in a characteristic chant with her own rhythm and tone that was like a signature. Sometimes the landlady too would join or pray. While some were in a language he did not understand they seemed to make an indelible recording of themselves in Srinivas’ mind.  He knew what words were coming up ahead as he heard them. Over a period of time, since he heard them repeatedly while still half asleep, they became a regular indication of when he had to wake up, it was like a pleasant alarm clock. There were days he woke up late or missed his morning train because the girl next door did not pray in time, perhaps due to illness or something.

Later that year, Srinivas had his brother visit and stay with him a while. His brother was younger to Srinivas, was taller, wore no geeky glasses, had handsome features, dressed and groomed to impress. He definitely attracted the attention of most girls around his age.

The two brothers slept in the bedroom and after a while the younger one too noted the prayer chanting and one day just as the girl was chanting next door, he too started to mouth the words (he did not understand their meaning) in sync. He was generally good at impressions. Srinivas could not contain himself. He burst out laughing and quickly held himself back silent. The two young men giggled. Over time, it sort of became their morning wake-up joke and ritual.  They would both softly sing in sync in the morning as they woke up, hoping not to be heard next door.

One morning, perhaps the girls next door did hear the two brothers singing and thought they were making fun of their prayer. The girl stopped her prayers suddenly. There were some furious, whispered consultations with her siblings and mother perhaps. Then she resumed praying in her usual way. The brothers knew something was not quite right. They hoped the girls or their parents would not take offense. Occasionally, that older girl or her sisters would even help her mother carry over some plates or containers of food to Srinivas and his brother. They did not want to do anything to make her uncomfortable. They hoped they had not ruined a good friendship.

The girls apparently did not take offense, but decided to execute a little payback of their own. When they next heard Srinivas or his brother singing or humming, the girls would sing along in the next room loudly enough to let them know. The young men were taken aback and stopped midway. They paused and then heard giggles next door.

Soon, there came a cheeky question from next door.

“Kyon ruk gaye? Gathe raho na!” (Why did you stop? Please continue singing!)

This appeared to be from the youngest girl, going by the voice. She was the one who never spoke to Srinivas when face-to-face. She would be totally silent. Her older sisters were freer in talking to him if their mother wanted to convey a message or if Srinivas had something to say.

Now, it was only fair that one takes what one dishes out. So the brothers decided to sing out loud and freely. There was laughter, giggles and chortles from both sides of the border (door) and it sounded like a game of “Anthakshari” was being played. For those that don’t know, it is a typical Indian game where one team begins a song with the syllable that ended the song sung by the other team.  The girls would provoke Srinivas by singing one of his favourite old Tamil songs that he shared with their mother. There would be giggles as they twisted or changed the words slightly to make it mean something funny in a different language.

There was even light hearted teasing with play upon the lyrics of famous songs.

One brother would sing “Dheere Dheere bol koi sun na le” (Speak softly that no one might hear) as the refrain from a popular song, loud enough to be heard across the border.

The other brother would chime in with “Hum ko kisi kar dar nahin, Koi zor jawani par nahin” (I am not afraid of anyone, there is no force to suppress youth).

There would be cackles of laughter on both sides, unseen to each other. When they actually came within sight of each other or face-to-face, neither the young men nor the young women would talk about or refer to the cross-border exchanges. They would just pretend or move on like it never happened. It was all business like even if they had to convey a message to the landlady. They were always polite and friendly but one could often note a slight, almost hidden smile during the interactions.

Srinivas now probably started to notice the three girls and start to tell them apart by their faces and voices. While his younger brother was more socially evolved at that age, Srinivas was perhaps a late bloomer in that aspect. He noted that the youngest girl next door seemed to have the primary responsibility in taking care of Ricky and taking him for walks etc. Ricky would always run to her if she called, even if with him. She was the ‘boss’.

After a while, Srinivas’ younger brother left to work in a different city. Srinivas was back alone at home.

It was soon spring, almost the end of March. The weather in warm climates does not change in spring as dramatically as it does at higher latitudes where the temperature difference between summer and winter is much greater and sharper. Spring, nevertheless, does have a similar effect on all creatures across the world. The flowers bloom, the fruits start to grow and ripen, the birds sing, elephants and dogs are known to go crazy. It is a great time to celebrate foolishness and it is indeed celebrated so. All creatures great and small get the ‘spring fever’, even short-sighted nerds in thick glasses do. They may not realise it for a while, but become aware that they feel different, that the world feels different. They start to notice things that they normally would not. They might start to feel a bit guilty about it, but it is nature and one cannot fight it. Spring is definitely ‘party time’ in nature, and as Lord Alfred Tennyson famously said in a poem “In the Spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love."  These were nature’s ways of indicating that it was spring in these climes.

And so, it was with Srinivas. Even if he was not sure it was love for certain, there was a certain awareness of stirrings from within. He started to notice it in himself. He started to notice girls and even the ones next door. He thought that they all looked good, but there seemed something mysteriously attractive about the quietest one, the youngest. He would sneak looks at her and he caught her looking at him, or was it that she caught him looking at her?

Anyway, he put away all thoughts of her with a pang of guilt. The landlady had always treated him with such trust and affection that he felt it would be a betrayal to think any further.

One evening, as he came home, Ricky greeted Srinivas, rushed up to him from the room next door and followed him, tail wagging. He seemed all happy to see something in Srinivas’ hand for him, and was impatient to get it. Srinivas made him wait until he had unlocked the door and stepped inside and then put his treat in the corner of the room that he usually used for this purpose. It had been a busy day at work and Srinivas was still lost in thought about issues from his office.

As he took off his shoes and watched Ricky devour the treat, he noticed something white, in marked contrast to Ricky’s jet black colour and black leather collar. He noted it was a folded note of paper tucked into the dog’s collar under his neck, in front of his throat.

It took a minute or so for something to register into the slow-witted Srinivas. Why would someone do that to Ricky? He never went anywhere outside the house at that hour. He had just come out of the room next door (from the girls’ room plausibly). He decided to ignore it, but could not for more than a few minutes. It was staring at him, glaring and obvious. It occurred to him that perhaps it was a note meant for someone else, another neighbour. He had seen a boy closer in age to the youngest girl next door, who she was friends with. Perhaps it was meant for him, since Ricky did occasionally venture over next door and they had known him for a long time. But it did not make sense at this hour of the evening when Ricky did not go out anywhere else.

Curiosity could not be contained. Thoughts and memories of the girl next door catching him looking at her and her mysterious smiles came up flooding.  The feelings of the season encouraged impossible or improbable hopes in his heart. He badly wanted to see the note!! He imagined that it might contain a message meant for him and felt himself tingle at the prospect! He decided he must try and read the message. He knew that the girl knew Ricky would come to him when he came home. She knew, he would see the note and slowly it dawned upon him that it WAS meant for him. She had sent him a note on the collar of the dog! It was just perfect. He had a sneaky, secret hope that she perhaps liked him.

“What a clever way!” he thought. He admired her tact.

Now, he was stuck with a problem. How to get the message off Ricky’s collar? He had never put his hand anywhere near the dog intentionally, leave alone his face or neck or throat. Ricky too faced him and came to lick his hand, in the usual way. When Srinivas’ hand moved or attempted to move further towards his collar, Ricky was surprised and followed it with his mouth open and ready to grab it.

He tried to talk to Ricky to calm him, distract him and just reach the note quietly. It did not work. The dog thought it was a new game and kept as if the goal was to grab Srinivas’ hand. He seemed totally unaware of the note or did not think it had anything to do with the game.
For a while, Srinivas decided to ignore Ricky to put him off guard. Ricky got bored and decided to head home and went to the door to be let out.

No, No! That would not do! Srinivas was desperate. He went to the kitchen, brought out a piece of bread and called out to Ricky.  Ricky looked surprised and came back to jump and take a bite. The bread fell down and he was on to it in a flash.

Srinivas thought naively that while he was distracted eating, he could grab the note quietly, all the while talking gently and flatteringly to Ricky. What he did not know was that dogs are very aggressive in defending their food, once their claim has been staked. As Srinivas’ hand approached below his mouth, Ricky instinctively responded to the dog instinct of his food being threatened. He gave a low growl and snarl. He had never done this to Srinivas before.

Now, Srinivas was shocked and a bit scared. His fear of dogs battled with his curiosity and fantasies of spring fever. He almost cursed the girl door for putting him in this dangerous position, but immediately forgave her – poor girl, she did not know his fear of dogs and if the contents of the note were what he thought they might be, he could not be angry at her for long!

He calmed himself down and let the dog finish eating the bread. Then he sat down on a chair and soon the dog came up to him, tail wagging and asking to be let out to go back to his house.

“Come on Ricky boy, how are you? Come here, let me hold you,” he called out. He had a sneaking suspicion that the girl next door was just across the other side of the door, listening in.

“I bet she knows what I am trying to do,” he thought. As it turns out, he was right on that count.

It is said that there are two great motivations for which men will overcome all fears and do the normally impossible. One of them is protection of their young (their family or their nation) and the other is for love or even a hope of love. Surely, Srinivas was motivated. He also went through an evolution, to overcome his fear of handling a dog – perhaps man has always evolved this way. He came up with a clever plan and faced his fear of contact with dogs, head-on, so to speak! He decided to get down on the floor on all fours, like Ricky, and try to gradually get him sideways and give him a good hug and then get the note off. Ricky was now a bit surprised at Srinivas’ new game. But such is doggie acceptance of strange things that humans do. He danced around and ran around and did not make it easy for Srinivas. Finally however, after a couple of rounds around the room, all the while talking aloud to Ricky in an artificially friendly and confident way, he managed to get the note out. It fell to the ground and Ricky immediately decided that was the thing to play with and defend against a grab by Srinivas.

Ricky was suddenly surprised by Srinivas telling him to go home and opening the door. He had the note in his mouth, half way in. He decided to drop it and leave. Srinivas closed the front door, went over and picked up the note, half wet in dog slobber, but still intact. He opened it with his heart pounding, and not just from all the recent exertion.

It read in neat handwriting “April Fool”.

He realised it was the First of April that day. It was a tradition in India that you fool your friends at least once that day and call out to them saying “April Fool!!”

He heard Ricky go in next door. He heard her voice talk to him, perhaps feel his collar and look to see that the note was gone.

He heard a peal of laughter. Then chuckles and giggles from across the door. Then a chorus of three voices said “April Fool” clearly.

“Good one! You got me good,” he answered quietly. He had to grant her that. His heart gradually slowed down beating so fast. He had a good belly laugh. He finally figured out what was mysterious about her smile – it was ‘mischief’!!

He still remembers it as one of the best pranks anyone has ever played on him, especially, on the First of every April since.


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2013

All rights reserved 

Transcript Of My Conversations With God - 2

(Goodies and Baddies)

It had been a busy day and I was walking one late evening, to relax and wind down for the evening. I was near the Goulburn river as it flowed under a bridge. There was no one else around and I had walked a fair distance. I decided to sit down at the edge of the river, my seat dry and my feet wet - sandals off and toes dipped in the cool waters. It felt good after the hot day in a long spell of hot, scorching days. I leaned back against the sloped bank, closed my eyes, only listening to the sound of a slow moving river, traffic, near   and distant birds.
I was going over the day, just past, in my mind. It was an average day - some good and some bad. I gave thanks to God for the good, but the thought of an injustice and unspeakable cruelty that I had heard on the news came to mind and I felt upset. I decided to give some credit for that as well to God. 
"God, I wish I could speak to you right now and ask you a few straight and pointed questions," I said, probably aloud.

"Go ahead, son. Ask away," I heard the calm deep voice of a man.
I opened my eyes and there stood before me, an old man, who looked a lot like my father. 

I was a bit surprised to see and hear this man when I had not noticed or heard anyone moving around. It also occurred to me, this old man was standing in the water, right in front of me. Instinctively, I looked at his feet and there they were comfortably resting on the top of the water and yet he seemed steady and still. I realised  who it was.  It must have seemed a strange sight to any passerby, if they chose to look carefully. Those that did drive by on the highway did not seem to look that intently.

"OK, God, would you like to sit down? It might be a few minutes and you might be tired too, like me at the end of the day," I said, motioning to my side.
"It's OK, Thanks for the thought, but I will remain standing. For me the day never ends - it is always day somewhere in the world, you see. I will be fine," he said with a smile. I could see the humour in that - he has had one long, long busy day that lasts billions of years and he is still not tired. I did realise the contrast between us.

"I want to tell you about this thing I heard today.."I started,"But I suppose you already know what I am thinking about, don't you?" I felt a bit disconcerted with this omniscient person standing in front of me. 

"Yes, I do know what you are talking about. But go ahead and ask your questions."

If he were not God, I reckoned I would have felt a bit annoyed at such a know-it-all! And as if to make a point, he smiled at my thought. He could read that thought as well.

"I know, the last time we spoke, you mentioned how powerless you are to do anything. But don't you want to help correct such gross injustice? Don't you want to do anything about it? They say in so many scriptures that you are on the side of the good and against evil. Tell me upfront, straight, are you on the side of good or not?"

"Yes, I am."


"Does it not upset you? or grieve you to see innocents suffer and the bad ones thrive?"

"Sure, it does."


"Then why don't you prevent or do something about evil?" I really wanted to know.

"That is because I cannot, not without disturbing the stability of the universe. So I choose not to intervene directly to correct anything an evil human does."

"What?!!! The stability of the Universe ?!!! What does that have to do with it? I am not asking you to change and fix everything, Can you not atleast perform one simple, single act to correct an injustice, directly, just ONCE and leave everything else unchanged?" I asked, surprised. Suddenly, it occurred to me that perhaps this person was just great at making excuses and there was no way to check it out! My tone was definitely incredulous.

"Yes, absolutely. If I choose to make an exception to the laws of the universe to favour the 'good' as you see it, it will really not be good at all for the entire universe. Nothing will remain untouched. It will all be crazy and illogical and I am pretty sure you would not want it to be so. I definitely do not want it to be so."

I became quiet. I could believe what I heard. I did not want to say anything more. There seemed no point to argue this or anyone further to appeal to. My expression was certainly of one not satisfied or convinced.

A smile came upon God's face. He asked me quietly, "You want a logical explanation?"
"Yes, sure, why not? Atleast an explanation would help accept the situation," I muttered.

"OK. You remember your mathematics from high school?"
"Think so."

"Well, Do you think the rules of arithmetic are logical, sensible and should be valid?"
"Yes, of course!"

"Do you think that even I can make just exactly one single exception to the rules and leave all else unchanged? Suppose, for argument's sake, I just add one exception, violation or falsehood to the existing rules (truth) - say 1=2, and want nothing else to change, what do you think will happen?"

I pondered the questions. This was simple maths, but I was in front of God, and apparently this had some relevance to the whole state of affairs of the universe, including the human condition. I wanted to be careful. This seemed like the ultimate application of high school math. It started to get late, the sun set and the sky darkened. I had long walk back home. I tried to put those thoughts away and work things out.

"I know you need to get back home soon. You need to cook dinner and prepare to get your kids down for the night. You are hungry and tired too. I can explain quickly if you like," offered God.

"Sure." I could not resist a math lesson from the ultimate teacher, specially on this seemingly simple topic.

"Listen, if indeed 1= 2, then by adding one to each side, 2 = 3. You know that by the rules of arithmetic, right?"

"Right!"

"And again by the existing rules of arithmetic, if 1=2 and 2=3, then 1=3. Would that not be so?"

"Yes.."

"So, we now have not just one violation in math, we have many: 1=2,  2=3 and 1=3. And so on, ad infinitum. I can prove that there will be an infinite number of untruths in the system. This holds for any universal law or truth of this universe. And even if I could make it so, I would not want to. Hence, I do not want to introduce even one exception to the universal laws of the universe and the way it works. Nothing is above truth, I would not want anything to be above truth in the universe. I am not above it. You humans infact even portray me as the ultimate truth. You surely would not want me to be any less, would you? Now do you understand?"

"Got it, God! Good one." I replied. I was thrilled, not with the math, but with an understanding of how the universe worked and how God worked.

I got up and said, "I need to head back now. But would you walk along with me for a little while? I have one more question for you today."

"Sure, go ahead." He fell into step alongside me.

"Why does it appear to me that Evil thrives better than Good in the world? Why do the Baddies seem to be doing well and better than the Goodies?"

"You have a point there. Your observation seems to be on the mark. I too have observed the same thing," said God. He paused for a moment and said rather humbly, "And I think I know why." He paused again, for effect, with a smile on his face.

I was really looking forward to the answer to this one. I had to stop and listen carefully.

God too stopped and looked me in the eye and said,"That is because somehow, the Baddies seem more motivated, better organised and put in more effort in their endeavours than the Goodies. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of Goodies, maybe even in the majority. But even a small number of Baddies organise themselves and execute a lot better than the Goodies. Consider some political parties for example..."

"I got it!!" I exclaimed, interrupting God.

"OK, then, catch you later," He said and vanished.

I had a slow walk back home. It came to me in a flood, the realisation. Goodies just need to do better.


Copyright  (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2013

All rights reserved