Past the Halfway
Mark!
My father once told me that according to my horoscope I would
live to be a 100 years old. No, no! My dad is not that superstitious. It is a little trick that parents often use
in India. They tell their kids the most positive things about themselves and
their future, and attribute it to their horoscope, which is a socially
acceptable thing. It can also be blamed for many misfortunes etc. It is a way
of conveying a wish for a really long life or blessing and building confidence
in the child. They remember in their worst moments that their parents had told
that according to their horoscopes they were meant for greater things in life.
This helps them overcome the immediate obstacles with greater confidence from within.
Well, I just went past the halfway mark recently. I have
privately believed that the half-way point is more likely near the late 30s or
early 40s. I have sent cards to many of my
friends and even marked my status or theirs with a drawing of a stick figure
person just over a hilltop marked 40. The writing would wish them a happy
birthday and cheekily show where they are in their lifespan, if it were a hill.
Now I am past the point that I could stretch it to the
furthest year.
As a logical puzzle, I remember as a teenager, someone asked
me – “How far can you run into a forest?”
The correct answer, of course, was – “Half way” because after
that you are really running away out of the forest.
This seems a perfect analogy for life too. Once past the
half-way mark, we are really on our way out of life. This realisation brings a
certain perspective and detachment towards life itself. One can already see
that we have passed certain milestones and paths never to be able to go back
there again – being able to jump a whole flight of stairs, being able to touch
your toe to your head bent backwards, roller-skating, trying a skateboard,
dancing gracefully, singing tunefully without losing your breath, jumping over
a fence without support, lifting all your kids above your head and spinning
them around, carrying their school bags or wiping a stain or smudge from their
cheeks in front of their friends...
The sense of belonging changes past the half-way point. You
realise that things that you believed you owned actually own you – house, cars,
stuff and gadgets. They take so much of your precious time, you start to value them differently in what remains in this lifetime.
While the physical body seems past its ‘prime’ or halfway
point, that is not the case for the mind. Its ‘prime-time’ seems to be a bit
delayed and comes when the body starts to fade and fail. Some of the
experiences so far have really prepared it for the best times yet.
It seems like I have lived the first half of life, starting a
bit clueless, making a lot of mistakes, trials and errors and now have learned
to appreciate the really important stuff, and alas the body has already gone
past its best times. But mentally, it seems the remaining time is full of rich
possibilities and could be the best yet.
My kids were born very close to my private half-way point in
life – my late 30s.
It seems like we give our kids life. But that is just
physical existence. It is they who give us the real life. We use the word life
to mean different things. The best meaning of life as in - the joy of living,
the purpose of living and the most important thing is being alive, often comes
to us from our kids themselves. It is like they have given us ‘life’ in a
better sense than we have given them, all without even realising it. They will likely know this when they become parents. Kids bring out
the best in us, through the worst times. It is well past the halfway mark when
I think we live our best lives. Often it is inextricably linked with our kids.
In my Indian culture, on birthdays we do something for our
friends and family, not the other way around. Often people perform great
charities with pomp and show on that day. It is supposed to be a way to make
the world happier or thankful for us having been born. It is after our passing
away from this life that others celebrate our birthday, if our life has been
deemed worth celebrating. I live here and we have a mix of the best of the
western and eastern culture on birthdays.
My kids have told me that now I am officially old.
‘It is a big deal dad, it is a big number!” they said.
I am glad my dad and mum are around to see this day as I get
past this half-way mark that father marked.
“Thanks Appa (Dad)!”
I don’t feel a day older than 49!
Copyright (c) Kannan Narayanamurthy 2012
All rights reserved